Monday, January 24, 2011


Here in Kansas I am surrounded by piles of snow. Have been for weeks now.
There are always such conflicting feelings about the snow.
The first few snows of the year are enjoyable as they tend to remind me of being washed whiter than snow. And then there is the joy it brings the kiddos.
And a snow day-who doesn't love a snow day?
But, after awhile it gets OLD. REALLY OLD. Those of you in warm sunny places may not understand but being surrounded by piles of cold dirty snow can wear a girl down.
And after the 3rd snow day it becomes a little of ENOUGH ALREADY with all the days off we need some routine around here! When the kids are ready to go back to school you know IT IS TIME!

But, beyond the piles of cold snow, I have found myself surrounded by piles of other things as well. Ans I've found it not only cold outside, but inside this fickle heart of mine as well.
And, frankly it's been a struggle this past week.
We have had such "Highs" as we have prayed for our precious little friend, Clement. And seen miracle after miracle.
I think sometimes when we are up on the mountain top, Satan comes up underneath us and starts poking at us.
I've found him hiding under piles of things in my life that I thought were just harmless, but in fact have become sanctuaries from him to hid in.
Resentments, I've let pile up around me. Hurt feelings. Self doubt, that seems to surround me in huge piles and just when I think I've dug out from under, something happens and another pile pops up in it's place.
And just like the piles of snow outside my door, these piles are cold and dreary and can lead to isolation as well.
So, today I am taking out my shovel and getting rid of these piles surrounding me.
And as anyone who has done it knows, shoveling is hard work. But, it's also necessary work.
Because unless I get rid of these piles, I'll be stuck inside my own little world, Isolated and alone.
So, it may still frozen and cold outside and not much better inside, but today I'm shoveling out.


Miss Hillbilly said...

Self of my biggest struggles. I don't know why I can't have confidence in Christ (as people have told me).

Keep fb photo over there says to me "Baby Baby"

Angie said...

Oh Self Doubt, I know it well!

Unguarded!! :)

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