Sunday, January 30, 2011


Can I just tell you that I've been living this song for the past few weeks.
Thursday morning it came to a head. I called The Hubs sobbing at one point it was that bad.
Once I have the perspective the realize that God is using all the break me of my controlling, perfectionist tendencies . ..doesn't always make it easier, but I've got to trust.
Maybe someday, I'll pass the test, but for now I keep getting Redo's.

Friday, January 28, 2011

When Enough is Enough

I shared in my last post that my word for the year is ENOUGH.

When we are stepping out in faith in areas of our lives you can be sure The Enemy will attack.
It is for sure and for certain.

Yesterday was my group Bible study day and can I just tell you that just about everything that can wrong trying to get there-DID?!?! At one point I called The Hubs sobbing. It was THAT kind of morning.
And then I got my feelings hurt by a dear friend. Who frankly doesn't even know she hurt my feelings and didn't mean to. ..but it feels like getting smacked in the face.

So, the question for me becomes what do I do about it?

Trust me when I tell you there is a part of me that wants to jump up and down and throw a fit and tell her and everyone around me who will listen. Another part of me wants to bury my head in the pantry and eat a bag chips or maybe all the cookies I can find.

But, the part of me that is claiming ENOUGH for the year says, I will claim Lamentations 3:22-24
God's loyal love couldn't have run out,
his merciful love couldn't have dried up.
They're created new every morning.
How great your faithfulness!
I'm sticking with God (I say it over and over).
He's all I've got left.
(The Message)

Feeling let down by a friend or a loved one is never easy.
But enough is enough. I'll stick with God-I'll say it over and over. He's all I need.
He's merciful love must become enough.

It's time to let the friend off the hook. After all, that is what I would pray she'd do for me.
I've know I've failed a friend or two. . or three. It's time to let myself off the hook too.
Perfection is no longer my goal. THINGS ARE GOING TO GO WRONG. It is NOT the end of the world.
All glory belongs to the Father, He is the only perfect one.

Another verse to cling to if you are going through something similar is Nah. 1:7
God is good,
a hiding place in tough times. (The Message)

BTW, I'm using The Message translation because the read more like prayers, which is what I'm doing now. Praying these Scriptures over me, back to God.

I pray all in your life is going smooth and easy, but frankly this life is hard. People let us down, families argue and I think most people are going through SOMETHING.
Our somethings may not always look the same, but the answer to them is: God is Enough.
Thursday, January 27, 2011

Bird is the Word

The Hubs who knows way to much about way to much music put that song on our 'Family Roadtrip CD'. Yep, we are the kind of family that has a road trip CD and no I'd never heard that song until he put that on there. Seems it was a big deal in the 60's and you should know-it's annoying. very annoying. and my kids love it.

Ok, that was allot of words that have nothing to do with what I wanted to say to you.

On my drive into Bible study today, I heard the DJ's on KLOVE talking about selecting a word for the year. One word for what you want the year to be.
Mine hit me right in the face. Trust me, if words could hit, this one could and did.

As is in. You've had enough. You have enough. You are enough. I AM -the Lord your God- enough.

It's going to take some time for it all to sink in, but I do know that the Lord put it there.

What about you? If you had to pick a word to describe how you'd like your year to be summed up, what would it be?
Wednesday, January 26, 2011

How Judy Bloom has ruined me for life

Thoughts from the gym.

No matter how much you've paid for something-PUT THEM AWAY NOBODY WANTS TO SEE THEM.
Seriously girls, it's called a sports BRA for a reason, not a sports shirt a sports BRA.
And you're in your 50's, can we just give it a rest already??

Another random topic, any girl who is around my age, probably read a Judy Bloom book in Jr High.
Your parents probably didn't want you to, but you did it anyway. At least I did.
I felt like such a rebel reading Are You There God? It's Me Margaret.
TOTALLY know and understand why my parents didn't want me reading it too btw.

When I am at the the gym, I tend to get a little lost in my head, even with music on. (trust me when I tell you , that can be scary!) Anyway my mind wonders around and the past few times I've been working on the weight machine where you do the butterfly curls.
All I can think of is that Judy Bloom book. . . say it with me girls. . .We must, we must, we must increase our ____________.
And since that isn't a priority for me, I begin thinking maybe I shouldn't be doing these on this equipment.
But,then I think, maybe I shouldn't take my cues from a book written for prepubescent girls in 1970.

It's hard to be me sometimes.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011


Outside my window
The snow is falling down
And with it comes the cold hard ground.

When I look and see the white, I am reminded of your sacrifice
And promise to wash me whiter than snow.

But, then I see myself, reflected back in the cold hard ground.

Please warm me up, shake these bones
that have become so indifferent and cold.
Help me not turn my head to all I see that might scare me.
But instead help me to embrace all who need a warm and caring place.
They may not look like me
Yet, we're all longing for the same
Love, forgiveness, kindness, and redemption.

Warm the cold soil of my heart
Till all who see
Know You are the only reason why
In a cold and weary land
I am a soft warm place to land.
Help me lead them only to you
So that by my words and deeds they would see the only One who can
Change the landscape of our lives and wash us whiter than snow.
Monday, January 24, 2011

Big Daddy Weave - Audience Of One

I often get asked 'who' I am writing for.
In other words, who is my audience?
Here is my reply. . .
I write for my Audience of One.

"Lord let me live for you.
Lord as the love song of my life is played.
I have one desire.
To bring Glory to Your name."


Here in Kansas I am surrounded by piles of snow. Have been for weeks now.
There are always such conflicting feelings about the snow.
The first few snows of the year are enjoyable as they tend to remind me of being washed whiter than snow. And then there is the joy it brings the kiddos.
And a snow day-who doesn't love a snow day?
But, after awhile it gets OLD. REALLY OLD. Those of you in warm sunny places may not understand but being surrounded by piles of cold dirty snow can wear a girl down.
And after the 3rd snow day it becomes a little of ENOUGH ALREADY with all the days off we need some routine around here! When the kids are ready to go back to school you know IT IS TIME!

But, beyond the piles of cold snow, I have found myself surrounded by piles of other things as well. Ans I've found it not only cold outside, but inside this fickle heart of mine as well.
And, frankly it's been a struggle this past week.
We have had such "Highs" as we have prayed for our precious little friend, Clement. And seen miracle after miracle.
I think sometimes when we are up on the mountain top, Satan comes up underneath us and starts poking at us.
I've found him hiding under piles of things in my life that I thought were just harmless, but in fact have become sanctuaries from him to hid in.
Resentments, I've let pile up around me. Hurt feelings. Self doubt, that seems to surround me in huge piles and just when I think I've dug out from under, something happens and another pile pops up in it's place.
And just like the piles of snow outside my door, these piles are cold and dreary and can lead to isolation as well.
So, today I am taking out my shovel and getting rid of these piles surrounding me.
And as anyone who has done it knows, shoveling is hard work. But, it's also necessary work.
Because unless I get rid of these piles, I'll be stuck inside my own little world, Isolated and alone.
So, it may still frozen and cold outside and not much better inside, but today I'm shoveling out.
Sunday, January 23, 2011

What do you think?

Let's start by saying TECHNOLOGY is NOT my friend!
So, several hours and many abandoned downloads later, here is the new look.
( It might go faster if I wasn't passing out meds and wiping noses, but such is my life)
What do you think?

Personally, I think it looks a little 'baby shower' ish . . .but it's done so I'm happy. . .for now.
It's kinda like rearranging the furniture in your living room. You could tweak things everyday for a month. Maybe that's just me.
Sometimes I like to just put my crazy right out front for everyone to see.

Look around, let me know what you think. What works, what doesn't. . .

And as always, thanks for reading!

Friday, January 21, 2011

Double Praise Hands to Jesus!

We serve a mighty and faithful God!

Our precious little Clement is doing so good today!

The surgeons were just amazed by how well he did-but we say we serve the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, we serve the God who put a star into the sky and knew who this little boy in a village in Africa is. And not only does he know him, he loves him and holds him in the palm of His hand!

I won't go into all the medical jargon, but just know it was an intense surgery and he came through with flying colors.

His surgical nurse is also a believer, so they got to spend some sweet time in prayer before his surgery. What a blessing to have a believer in the room with him!

And, as much as I am rejoicing in this little boy/miracle, in the past 24 hours I have been told about 2 Mommies with little ones at home, who are facing some very difficult health battles. The kind that in my eyes I don't see any way.
But, thankfully they aren't in my hands-they are in the hands of Jehovah Jirah-the Lord will provide, Jehovah rapha-the Lord our healer and Jehovah shalom-the Lord our Peace.

So, I am lifting up praise hands to Jesus today for seeing precious Clement through the valley, not just yesterday but his entire two years.
But I am also praying that if you or someone you love needs healing that you will turn to the One and Only True God for answers.

To all of those who were and are praying, thank you thank you thank you!

Love, hugs and prayers around the world! XOXO
Thursday, January 20, 2011

Around the World

The past three years have brought many changes to my personal life, with my best friend of 20+ years moving with her family to Thailand. It was so heartbreaking!
Then last year my beloved friend, who is really more sister than friend, moved with her family to serve as missionary's in Ghana Africa.
To say that the transition of not having these two beloved girls in my daily has been difficult would be an understatement!
But, with all the technology available now, we have been able to keep a constant email flow between all of us and our 4th friend who is still here in The States like me.
We often sign these emails Love Hugs and Prayers Around the World.

One thing that has also made the transition a bit easier is seeing Wendy's ministry there in Africa through the amazing pictures she takes. And the stories she writes about the beloved people she serves. I feel like I already know many of them.
One of those people is a little 2 year old boy named Clement and his father Baba.

Clement is very sick and needs a life saving surgery on his heart. There is no where in Ghana for this surgery to happen.
Through a series of miracles, Wendy was able to find a doctor in Florida who would donate his time and talents and a hospital to let him perform the surgery. A family they did not know said they could stay with them and God moved MOUNTAINS for Baba and little Clement to obtain their Visa's and Passports. Seriously, if I wrote about that it would take many blog entries. Just know it was MOUNTAINS that were moved!
His surgery was scheduled for the 25th-until yesterday.
Yesterday, he had an assessment by the surgeon that included doing a heart catheter procedure so they could see exactly what they were dealing with in Clement's heart.
It did not go well.
Clement's oxygen level was at 22% and the Doctor said he has not seen a heart this bad in a very long time.
They (dr's and nurses) are all amazed that he made the three day journey just to get here.
But we are not! We serve a Might God!
Because of what they saw and how Clement is doing they put him in ICU last night and have moved his surgery to 11 EST.
So, I am asking you, Dear Reader to please pray for this little boy today.
I know there are many readers who are 'lurkers' here and many of you come from around the world.
Please know that I appreciate each of you and I covet your prayers for this dear boy who has worked his way into our hearts!
Let's pray around the world today!
The surgery will take many hours but, I'll update you as soon as I know anything.

Thank you. Thank You, for taking the time to read this and to PRAY for Clement!

Blessings to you and love, hugs and prayers around the world!
Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Adventure Girl

The other day the little princess informed me that when she grew up she was going to be an 'Adventure Girl'. Then she added that she was going to be an Adventure Girl who tamed the T Rex!
And, I have no doubt that if there were still T Rex's roaming the Earth, that indeed she would be the one to tame them. Knowing my girl, she'd sing them a song and then they would all be friends.

But, as I look at this precious girl of mine, I do wonder where she got her Adventure Girl spirit (that I pray she never loses!). Frankly, I'd much rather bake cookies and have a tea party.
She's often up for that too, but you'd better bet her 'pet' dino is at the table with us.

Lately, though I've began my own adventure and as much I am (mostly) enjoying the ride, I have often wondered in my prayers 'Are you SURE this is what you want for me?'. In both my ministry life and home life, I have asked that question more than once. I like things to stay the same and in my comfort zone is where I like to stay.

I have also began to work out at our local community center. Let me tell you, THAT is an adventure! I have thought about changing my blog name to A Fat Girl Goes To The Gym.
Let me tell you, when you haven't been inside a gym in 20 years that is an adventure.
I know, for those of you who are fit and workout people you may not get this, BUT just walking into a gym when you are NOT is an adventure and takes some courage.
You feel out place and not sure what to do or where to start.
After my first timid step in, I'll be honest and say I wasn't sure if I would go back, but after praying for courage and determination I did go back and have actually been enjoying my time there.
I have learned a few things though on this adventure though.

1) Never get on the treadmill next to the girl in her very cute matching workout clothes.
You are only going to feel bad about your self.

2) Great work out music is a must! I've been enjoying Switchfoot, TobyMac and Michael W. Smith's Wonder.

3) While walking on the treadmill that is not the time to try and untangle the headphones on your ipod.

4)There are more muscles in your body that can hurt than you EVER THOUGHT possible!

But, here is the rub, that I believe is so hard for us women to get into our heads. Our beauty is not definded by a dress size, a number on a scale or anything else.
Yes, being active and healthy is a good thing- a great thing, but we can't let it become our a security and idenity.

We are beautiful because God made us. You will be worth no more to Him because of what your dress size is or isn't.
I think of all the things we struggle with believing that is one of the top 5.

So, we have a choice to make, do we believe the Divinely inspired words written in Ps. 139 or don't we?
13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place,
when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
17 How precious to me are your thoughts,[a] God!
How vast is the sum of them!
18 Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand—
when I awake, I am still with you.

Verse 17 says His thoughts toward us our precious. I love that!

So, I've become an adventure girl, in my ministry life and in my quest to be more active and healthy.
It's scary and intimidating at times. But, I know He's gone before me and already made the way.

Maybe the princess and I will find a T Rex and tame it!

What adventure are you on?
Friday, January 14, 2011

Never Change

Malachi 3:6a For I am the LORD, I do not change

That verse is in my kitchen window. It was one of J's memory verses at the beginning of the school year and he made a little project to help him learn his verse.
So, I put it up in the window and often reflect on it while standing at the sink.
There have been many days it has brought me comfort as I stand there and think upon that promise.
It's really been on my mind at the beginning of this new year.

The Lord tells He does not change.
Doesn't change for our will or purposes, not for our enemies will either. Not for the times or for convenience sake.
He does not change.
The world around us may be crumbling, leaving us with a feeling of standing on unsteady ground.
Your man may have walked away, you may have a wayward child, or an empty bank account, or maybe even just worn down by the complexities of life.
But, He is our Rock and He has promised that He will never change.
That means that every other promise He has given us, He will fulfill -because He doesn't change.

We can rest on the promise that same God who has loved us and provided us a way through before, will do it again.

He is the Lord and He does not change.

Thank You Lord!
Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Now for the boys

Thought I'd ask my boys some questions to put them on the spot. . .
C is 12 and J is 7
1) Who is your favorite Bible character and why?

C-that is so tough, I want to say Jesus. .is it Ok if it's Jesus? I can think of allot of other people, but Jesus is the only one who was perfect and died for our sins.

J-Jesus, because He is a person in the Bible who gave us everything

2) What do you like to do with Mom?

C-Travel and read

J-play the Wii, my favorite game to play with mom is Super Mario Brothers

3) What's your favorite thing about school?

C- I have allot of good friends

4) What's your least favorite thing?
C-guess? Homework!
J-spelling tests

5) What's Mom's favorite color?
C-umm, Pink

6) What's Mom's favorite snack?
J-Diet food

7) What's your favorite thing Mom makes for dinner?
C-pasta, by far!

8) If Mom was a cartoon, who would she be?
C-that's hard. . .a Smurf?


9)Where is Mom's favorite place to go?
C-I don't know
J-Camping at Branson and Silver Dollar City

10) Who is Mom's best friend?
C-Allayne and Aunt Wendy
J-Allayne totally Allayne and Aunt Wendy

11) What's Mom's job?
C-taking care of us and babysitting
J-take care of the kids and babysitting Ella

12)What's Mom's favorite sport?

13) How do you know Mom loves you?
C-well, you say it and you take good care of us.
J-cuz, I'm her favorite person

If you have more than one child you know that they are all different and my boys are NO exception! Night and Day, Hot and Cold, Slow and Fast that is who they are and I love them both to the moon and back!

Interviewing the 4 year old

First I am totally stealing this idea.

I interviewed my boys a couple of years ago, but the Princess was too little so I thought I'd give her the spotlight today..

1) What is one thing Mommy always says to you?
Come over here

2. What makes Mommy happy?
When I be nice

3. What makes Mommy sad?
When I be naughty

4. How does Mommy make you laugh?
When you be funny (says while making a funny face)

5. What was Mommy like as a child?
ummm,you look liked a kid??

6. How old is Mommy?
oh, just

a little bit old

7. How tall is Mommy?
big-like this big, says while stretching her arms open wide

8. What is Mommy's favorite thing to do?
Work, and do computer, play with me and go swimming

9. What does Mommy do when you're not around?

10. If Mommy becomes famous, what will it be for?
uuhh, a because people like to see you

11. What is Mommy really good at?
walking and exercising (mom tries not to chuckle)

12. What is Mommy not very good at?
Lifting things up that are heavy

13. What does Mommy do for her job?
make dinner and lunch and snacks

14. What is Mommy's favorite food?

15. What makes you proud of Mommy?
When you hug me so much and tuck me in when it's goodnight time

16. If Mommy were a cartoon character, who would she be?
Cat in the Hat

17. What do you and Mommy do together?
clean up, play and shop

18. How are you and Mommy the same?
We both have the same nose, mouth and eyes and hair

19. How are you and Mommy different?
I don't have glasses on

20. How do you know Mommy loves you?
Because you love me and give me lots of kisses

21. Where is Mommy's favorite place to go?
To the store and Matt Ross Community Center and to meetings
Monday, January 10, 2011

Love Like This - Ayiesha Woods

I've been loving this song all weekend!

Oh the Things You Can Think. . .

Kids are home today due to a snow day.
Lot's of inches with more coming down.

With a house full of excited kiddos and even extra excited beagle there isn't much thinking or deep writing going on here.

So, here are some things I can't stop thinking about from the weekend.

Hanging with The Hubs and friends listening to some friends play jazz. It was great!

Christmas is over, how did that happen? And while putting up the trees is a wonderful thing putting them away NOT. SO. MUCH.

Going to the grocery store when the city is under a major snow advisory, not so fun.

Listening to my little girl sing, makes me Oh so happy.

The shooting in AZ, oh I can't some of those images out of my mind. I really should be banned from watching the news sometimes.

My dear friends are missionaries in Ghana Africa and her sister and mom are there now visiting. . .oh I wish I could repost some of her emails. You feel like you are right there in the midst of it all. If could urge you to do one thing today, it would be to take the time and pray for your missionaries today. The work they do is priceless and oh so exhausting.

Our ladies Bible study begins this Thursday-WOO HOO! We are doing Beth Moore's study A Woman's Heart, God's Dwelling Place. I've been wanting to do this study for YEARS and now the time has come. I cannot dig into God's Word with some amazing ladies.

My boys had their basketball games on Sat. Can I just tell you that as a mom it's as intense as any College or NBA game you could watch!

My beloved Chiefs got their tales kicked yesterday. Oh the agony.

So that was my weekend in a nutshell.
What about you? What consumed your weekend?
Wednesday, January 5, 2011

A New Song

I read these verses this morning out of Psalms 96
Sing to the LORD a new song;
sing to the LORD, all the earth.
2 Sing to the LORD, praise his name;
proclaim his salvation day after day.
3 Declare his glory among the nations,
his marvelous deeds among all peoples.

Which made my spaghetti brain ( do you know what that is? If you do, know that mine often works over time! And if you don't you're probably a man and you don't have one so yeah, for you)go into over drive and I began looking up many of the passages in the Bible that talk about a new song. (Which then got me to thinking about that Christian group called New Song that sings that uber depressing Christmas Shoes song. It's hard to be me sometimes!)

Anyway, there are many verses that talk about the great things the Lord has done so the writer was going to sing a new song.
As I pondered that for awhile, that got me thinking about my song.
Is it new? Or is it the same song, second (or 1,000) verse?
You know the one, I'm so busy, overworked, tired that's why I do (or don't do) X,Y,Z. . .
I'm sick of singing that song. And I know surely those around me are tired of hearing it.

So, I'm singing a new song. My hope is in you, my glory is in you, my passion is for you, Lord! Then I am praying and putting into action those words becoming a reality.

What about you, what's your new song?
Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Hauling Trash

I don't know about you, but after Christmas we had ALLOT of trash.
Bags and bags filled to the brim.
We celebrated at my folks were they are only allowed to put two bags out by their curb at a time.
So, The Hubs hauled the overstuffed trash bags to our house.
You couldn't see it from the outside, but the back on his van was filled with about 10 bags. We couldn't even load the new gifts because the trash took up to much space.

That got me thinking about all the junk I am hauling around everyday. No one may be able to see it, but boy are the bags there!
Filled to the brim with all sorts of garbage-some that I've been carrying around since well, what seems like forever.

Why haven't I unloaded them by now?
Why does it seem like sometimes I'd rather hold on to the garbage bags than lay them down for a treasure?
Like the treasure of freedom-hauling all those bags can be a heavy job?

There is only One who is strong enough to bear the burden of all those bags and yet that is rarely the person who I dump them on.
I dump them on The Hubs, the kids, a friend, the clerk in the store, the person driving to slow in front of me. The list goes on and on.
And, yet not one of those people can do a thing about taking those bags from me.
Oh, they can sympathize about the bags and maybe even hold them for awhile, but not one of them can take them away.

So, beings the process of dumping all these bags I've been hauling around, one by one at the feet of Jesus.
I'm so tired of hauling them around-that takes allot out of a girl!

Do you ever feel that way? That you are hauling your garbage around? Some of it you pick up along the way and you don't even know where it came from?

Well, I invite you to take yours, along with me to the Holy Dump. Let's throw it all out-and LEAVE it there!

My prayer is that when I fall back into old patterns and begin to pick up those bags again that I would be made aware of the supernatural stink of them and drop them just as quickly as I picked them up.

Claim this verse along with me
2 Corinthians 5:17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.
Monday, January 3, 2011

The Way It Is, Not the way I wanted. . .

We started off our new year like many of you.
Friends, family and food.

Saying goodbye to the old and welcoming in the new.
A fresh start, a new beginning.

Then the kids got sick.

Then our car broke down.
Clear across town.

This is not how I pictured my new year starting. In my mind the house was clean, the Christmas boxes neatly packed and put away. And we were spending the last days of the kids break relaxing and enjoying each others company.

So, when everything in my little plan began to unravel yesterday I was-
Not amused.
Annoyed really.

Then they called and told us how much it was going to cost to fix it-and I was really annoyed.
And questioning. The big one being, Where the heck are we coming up with that??

But, then I am reminded once again, that God is in control. He is never surprised. And He is always looking out for our best.
My best and God's often look different. My best would be a life of comfort, health and always full bank account.
But, God wants what is best for my heart, and faith rarely grows from a place of comfort.
So, I've got a choice, be annoyed and frustrated and scurry around trying to come up with a solution.
OR, believe that God is in control and ground my feelings on that fact.

Not exactly how I'd planned on beginning the new year.
But, what better way than knowing God is good, and in control?!