Wednesday, April 28, 2010

The Heart of the Matter

OH my I've had so much over the past week and a half I've been wanting share with the bloggy world, but I either didn't have the time to sit and write a complete thought, I was passing out medicine to one of the littles or my heart was just too full and I couldn't express what I was feeling.

On April 19th we had the five year anniversary of C's heart surgery. Unbelievable really. Five years. Short and long both at the same time.
It's a long complicated story and I'll just share some highlights with you, because
1) It's my blog and I want too
2) It's so good to remember when God moves in a mighty big way
3) Maybe you need to be reminded that the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob hasn't changed and He's still in the miracle business!

C has asthma and allergies and as an infant was S I C K A L L the time. That is no exaggeration either, my friend. The kid was sick. Odd sick. Like his blood work would come back with no white cells or elevated white cells or it looked like he'd never had his baby shots. Finally, when he was about 6 months old the doctors told us to pull him out of the church nursery and basically keep him isolated so he could just get well.
Anyway, years went by, he was growing and we were learning how to treat the allergies and asthma and basically a non existent immune system.
He'd gotten pretty sick the end of February his Kindergarten year and they sent us for a chest x-ray to see if he had pneumonia -nothing new, he'd had it before, a routine Doctor visit for us.
The night when I got the call from the Doctor, everything changed.
I was expecting to hear if C had pneumonia or not instead I got 'Mrs. Wilkinson has anyone ever said that C has a misshapen heart?' I could hardly speak. 'No, no one has ever said that.' A few minutes later I was given the name of a children's cardiologist and told to call them ASAP.
So, I called and scheduled our appointment, all the while not really able to form many actual prayers, just bursts of thoughts. 'Lord, please help my baby. I don't know what to say, just please heal my boy.'
When we saw the cardiologist, he laughed at the radiologist and called him zealous -I was feeling good at that point. He said, let's do the tests just to be sure, but he couldn't hear anything, no one had ever heard any kind of murmur and he thought everything was fine.
After he ran the test and we were WAITING for him to come back in the room, as soon as he stepped in -I knew. Knew something was wrong, very wrong.
He apologized for laughing at the radiologist and proceeded to tell us what he thought was wrong. They could see the misshapen part of the heart and there were several leaks. At least 5-6 leaks and they couldn't tell how bad they were. One needed a coil, but the others might need something more drastic to be done. They wouldn't know without going in and looking. So we were scheduled for a coil placement and exploratory scope to see what would need to be done about the rest of the valves. For the next two weeks I was in shock.
The day of the surgery we went in prepared to hear when our open heart surgery would be taking place.
But, a miraculous thing happened that day.
The surgeon called us back to a room where they showed a video of Cam's heart during the coil placement. They showed us that side by side with the video of the original dye test they had done on him earlier to show all the leaks.
With pointer in hand, he said 'Mr and Mrs. Wilkinson, I don't know what or how this happened but the leaks in this original test are not there. We placed a coil in one but the rest are gone.' As we held each other and tried to hold back the tears, we told him we could tell him how it happened! I have never felt so prayed and cared for by the Holy Spirit in all of my life. God knows what it is like to lose a son, He was there holding us up when we couldn't stand. He healed our boy.
A year later, C was no longer considered a cardiac patient.
The hump on his heart -nothing. Nothing except, God trying to show anyone who would pay attention that something was wrong. All the unexplainable sickness? Again, trying to get the right person to figure out that something was wrong with this kiddo. See, he would have been the 16 year old that drops dead on the basketball court that no one knows why, if the leak had never been found.
What a great God we serve! I am so thankful He hasn't stopped doing miracles!
You know, when C was little I would pray all the time for God to heal him and take away all the sickness he was going through. Just think, He could have done that. . .and if He would have I might not have my son even now.
When you are walking through the pain and trial it is hard to see the benefit. But, we know that we never have pain just so God can hurt us, often it's to give us life -just like he did for C!

I know this post was long and not as funny as some others, but we can never forget the day we saw God's hand move. I pray you see Him move for you too!
Friday, April 16, 2010

Hey Jude

We get asked all the time if we named our second son after that song.
Um, although a great song- NO. Or after the actor-that's a B I G NO!
Basically, we named him Jude because it means 'Praised'. We were so thrilled when we found out another baby was going to be given to us, we wanted to Praise!!

So, today, on the day my baby boy turns SEVEN (which seems crazy!) I'm going to Praise him!

Jude the Dude, the world is a more fun place because you're in it - you are a party waiting to happen!
You are by far the bravest person in our family and your daring nature both frightens and thrills me!
You are one tough little man, yet you have such a tenderness to those who are younger than you. This makes you a great big brother to your little sister! And, I so thankful that even though you're tough you love music and signing and you still will cuddle with your momma!
You are going to be such a man of God, because once you've made your mind up -there is no going back for you! And, boy do you know how to worship, allot of adults could learn a few things from you on how to unashamedly worship the Lord.

The day you were born and the ones following were difficult days, because I almost died and then three days later we lost your amazing Uncle Mike. Having the blessing of you made those dark days much easier to get through.

You have a special spot in the family, you're the baby boy and still get to be a big brother. That spot has challenges too, I know it's hard to be in the middle and not always feel heard. Maybe that's why you are also the loudest person in the family too?!
You have pushed my buttons, stretched me more than I thought possible and shown me God's amazing grace over and over again.
I Praise Him for allowing me to be your mom-it's such a privilege today and everyday!
Happy Birthday Big Guy!
Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Sometimes you just aren't worth the trouble

I've said those words more than a couple of times since Max the Wonder (Wandering) dog came to be part of our family at Christmas. I mean WHAT was Santa thinking bringing us a beagle puppy??
Max is a sweet dog and smart (mostly). Goes potty outside (Hallelujah !!) can do a couple of tricks and most importantly will let a certain little girl love -I mean LOVE all over him without getting disgruntled.
But, Max has a problem. His nose. His nose gets him into all sorts of wandering troubles. He'd follow that nose anywhere without looking up, or behind to the left or right. When he's on the trail of something there is no stopping him. He only weighs about 20 LBS. but when his sniffer is in action it feels more like 200!

I've chased that dog MANY times since Christmas, and let's just say this winter wasn't a pleasant one so LOTS of those times it was on snow and ice. One time I completely wiped out on the ice. That was the first time I uttered those words - SOMETIMES YOU JUST AREN'T WORTH THE TROUBLE!!!
I said them again this past week after one of our morning walks. He was so distracted by all the smells around him, I practically had to drag him the 2 miles. Couldn't or wouldn't stay on the path beside me, but instead pulling his leash as far and as hard as it would go, often feeling like he was taking my arm with him!

Between my grumblings, I began to wonder if that isn't sometimes me?
I could be enjoying a nice brisk walk. Walking step in step with my Saviour, but instead I'm so distracted by the things around me I am pulling and tugging and pushing the boundaries and missing the good stuff He really wants to show me!
Then I began praising and thanking Him-aren't I so grateful He NEVER says I'm not worth the trouble?!? He never throws the leash in disgust. Just lovingly keeps showing me the path.

The words from that old hymn kept going over in my mind:
O to grace how great a debtor
Daily I'm constrained to be!
Let that grace now like a fetter,
Bind my wandering heart to Thee.
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
Prone to leave the God I love;
Here's my heart, O take and seal it,
Seal it for Thy courts above.

To me that is one of the most amazing things about God's grace-He knows we are prone to wander and yet He loves us, not in spite of our weaknesses but because of them.
Thank You Lord, for always thinking I'm worth the trouble!