Will You or Won't You

No insights, no bits a homespun wisdom from me today.

I'm doing good to be putting sentences together.
Why you ask?
(maybe you didn't ask, maybe you thought "Um, you always have trouble putting sentences together.")

Because I took Max the Wonder Dog to the vet this morning.
That is always an interesting experience.

Max or Trouble. . .

So here's a list.

1) My neighborhood is having it's annual garage sale tomorrow.

We are (and by we, I mean me) are participating. Getting ready for a garage sale is a major amount of work. Here's hoping it pays off. But, either way, I bet I've got stories after it's over.

2) My boys have had SAT testing all week at school. 

That can wear a little mind down. We'll be ready for Friday.

3) So here's the big question. . .ready… Will you or Won't you be watching the Royal Wedding tomorrow?  In totally honesty, I've got to say the coverage-Driving me CRAZY, but I'm a sucker for a wedding dress, so I'll tune into check Kate's dress out.

What about you? Are you setting your DVR so you don't miss a second?

Could you care less and will avoid all media outlets until the madness is done?

Or are you like me and get resist a wedding day fashion?

4) Laura Story's song Blessings. Moves.Me. Check it out if you haven't!

Thanks for reading. . .I'm off the abyss that is my garage. . .if you don't hear from me by Monday, send help!

Ordinary Days

We live in the middle of the country in a quiet suburban neighborhood.
The Hubs is a Letter Carrier and I'm a stay at home mom.
We have 3 kids and one beagle.
Ordinary.

I think that's what most would say if they looked at our lives.
From the outside it seems so typical. So ordinary.
Work, School, Vacations here and there.
The same story could be said over and over again.



Sometimes, the ordinary can seem overwhelming. Especially in bloggy world.
I don't live on a ranch and take amazing photographs.
I don't have amazing tips to give on how to be organized or how to clean.
I don't homeschool or have oodles of children.
I don't clip coupons so I can save hundreds of dollars on my grocery bill.

The only thing that makes my life anything other than ordinary is Jesus.

He has taken all the things the world would look at and call ordinary and turned them into extraordinary.

Not for me, but for His glory.

And that's what He can do for your ordinary days too. Sometimes ordinary can wear you down.

I am not the only one who can see Him at work, you can too -even if the aisle of the grocery store!

God is at work all around us.

Even in the ordinariness of our days.

Laundry, homework, bills, jobs, changing a diaper, mowing the lawn. He's always there at work.

The key is-to look for Him.

Seek Him and you'll find Him.

Ask Him to give your ordinary day extraordinary sight.

Life is lived in the ordinary moments of our days. 

We can't always be waiting for the exciting thing to happen.

Extraordinary things are happening all around us, if we'll only look for them.

A flower blooming. A child laughing. Music being performed. Bubbles at bath time and bed time stories.

Families staying together. Forgiveness being granted. Love winning out. Grace flowing down like rain.

Extraordinary moments lived in ordinary days.

I pray that's what you'll find today!

Giggles

Little Girls giggles are the best. This Little Person right here, well she just melts my heart!

She's blowing you a kiss, Darling! -She's ready for the Royal wedding.

Not Again

This afternoon one of the boys and I had a conversation about homework.
Let's just say we've had this conversation before. Twice this year, in fact.
I am tired of having this conversation and basically told him so.

My son understood my level of frustration, apologized and we moved on.
At least on the outside.
On the inside I was still a bit annoyed and frustrated.
The internal dialog I was having was something no one needed to be subjected to.
It lasted for about 30 minutes, until I heard that still small voice saying to me:
"Don't you and I have the same conversations over and over?"
"Haven't you repeatedly needed to learn a lesson more than once?"

Yes. The answer to both those questions is a loud and resounding Y E S.
So why the major frustration with my child? Because I want him to be different then me? Because his poor choices reflect poorly on me? Because his poor choices make more work from me?
Perhaps it's all those things.
And God, my heavenly Father could say all those things about me too when I make a mistake-even if it's the third time.
But, never once has he said NOT AGAIN to me.
He's only bid me come to the cross and ask for forgiveness.

So, instead of unleashing the internal Mom lecture that was raging in my head, I chose grace.
Not looking the other way or not disciplining, but grace filled discipline.
Not " I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU DID THAT AGAIN!!!" discipline.

And not just for him, Oh, that I would spread that out to others as well. That I would pass out grace as much as I do frustration and indignation.
It's difficult at times, but if I my goal is to reflect my Saviour then I've got to do it in all areas.

No matter what I've done, what you've done, He doesn't say Not AGAIN-he says "Come unto me . . ."
Thank You Jesus!

Easter Fun

Spring Beauty

Egg hunting

Daddy and his girl -that'll melt your heart right there!

Momma and her boys

Three Easter Cuties

My Man and his boys
The first time my boys haven't matched at Easter-I tried not to let my OCD in that area get the best of me.

Boys egg hunting

Just a little of our Easter happenings in our neck of the woods.

We worshiped together, the rain held off, we ate too much  and enjoyed our family. 

A very good day indeed.

Would you take the place of this man

The Walk

This was originally written in August 2008

Micah 6:8 He has shown you O Man, what is good, And what does the Lord require of you
But to do justly, love mercy and walk humbly with your God?

Maybe you're like me and this isn't something you heard allot of from the pulpit growing up.
Perhaps it was I and I wasn't paying attention. I was probably daydreaming about some boy I had a crush on. . .
But, frankly, I knew more about rules, than Mercy and certainly more than humility.
As an adult I heard a song by Steven Curtis Chapman with that verse interwoven into the lyrics. I'm embarrassed to say, I still didn't realize it was a Bible verse.

Then in my late 20's our pastor spoke on this passage. What an eye opener! I remember crying for repentance thinking about all the people who I had smugly looked on as it seemed 'they got what they deserved'.

I so often tended to think of the Old Testament as all Fire and Brimstone, all judgement and no Grace.
But, here in the midst of all the sowing and reaping, is a passage telling me not to look down my nose at those who have gone astray. Not to question when someone didn't get what they 'had coming' to them. I am supposed to LOVE mercy.

UHMM, yeah, I don't always love mercy. Sometimes, mercy annoys me.

Never of course, when it has to do with me. Then I LOVE me some mercy!!
But, for others, not so much with the loving.

You know the story, sinned for years, or in an instant and it was B I G (as if God has categories of sin, but you know big to human eyes) and then they repent and are forgiven.
And nothing happens. Well, something happens, but I want to see it. Especially, if the "Big Sin' involved hurting someone I love. Then I don't want to love mercy. Oh I'm happy and all that, but I have to say that I've struggled with the loving of Mercy sometimes.

I can be pretty pious and look way down the end of my short nose, thinking I would NEVER do that 'Big thing'. I'm a good Christian girl, raised properly don't ya know?!?! No sir, I would never do that? (Insert mean, nasty sin here: Adultery, homosexuality, abortion. Lying, gossip. . oh wait, we were just talking the Big stuff right?)
As if my sin somehow didn't nail Jesus to the cross!
So much easier to keep a list of rules then to walk humbly and Love (couldn't He has just said like?) mercy.

Perhaps, I'm the only one who struggles with this. . . of course, I have been in church my whole life so, quite frankly I don't think so. . .
I want my walk to say to others: Come to Jesus and He WILL give you rest. He DOES forgive sin and YES He loves you! And He forgave me too! And, oh I am so thankful He did and humbled by it everyday!

The Walk (chorus only)
You can run with the big dogs
You can fly without he eagle
Jump through all the hoops and lib your ladder to the top
But when it all comes down
You know it all comes down
To the Walk
Do justly, love mercy, walk humbly with your God.
Do justly, love mercy, walk humbly with your God.
Walk humbly with your God.
(Lyrics by SCC)

With My Whole Heart

I look at you and see a dream come true.
The answer to a thousand prayers.

Wait and Wait and pray and pray
Cry and pray some more. That's what Daddy and I did over and over again.

How long would we wait to fill our house with the laughter and smiles only a little one could bring?
Would our dreams ever come true? Only God knew and He was saying
"Just wait on me and you'll see, I'll give you more than you could ask or think!"

The years slipped by
And one became two
Two became three
Three became four
Four became Five
Five became Six
Until the time came and Jesus said, "Yes", and gave you to us

Six long years and nine months of waiting for you to make your grand entrance.
Pink and squishy and deceptively

looking perfect
A little boy, who from the start, stole our hearts and we knew we'd never be the same.

You changed our home
Filled what we hadn't realized was so empty
You helped grow my faith
Took me from Once a Week Follower
To down on my knees, I can't make it without you Jesus, Follower.


Today marks the day, when six years ago we handed you over to a heart surgeon.
Not knowing what he'd find
But knowing Who's Hands your heart was really in.

I've never been so scared or quite as aware that really I'm in charge of nothing
Yet such peace overflowed that waiting room there, that I swore I'd never stop telling
Of the day, you went in so very sick and come out the other side whole.

Jesus healed you not a surgeon-who even he admitted didn't know how-
you went from being one boy to the next one without much assistance from him.

This shouldn't be he told dad and I in the waiting room that day.
It should be worse-see here on this x ray? That is what we were supposed to be fixing.
But, now those wounds are all gone, only a small one remains, and I can't tell you how.
"WE CAN!" we exclaimed, through laughter and tears.

A walking, running, miracle. Growing up before our eyes
What did I do to deserve this front row seat to God's grace and healing powers?
Nothing, not a thing. No one is less deserving than I.
But, I promise to never stop telling the story of a boy made whole
And how God used him to grow this Momma's faith.

Dudley Do Right

Growing up we used to sing this song about 'doing right'.

Do right till the stars fall
Do right till the last call
Do right when there's no else to stand by you.

Sounds great doesn't it?
And on some level it is.
But, I've become convinced that instead of 'doing right' perhaps I need to be more concerned about being right.

Being right with God is a far different thing than just doing right.

I could do lots of 'right' things and still not be right with Him. In fact I lived my life like that for a long time.
It didn't get me any closer to a correct relationship with Christ than a life of doing what I wanted.
In fact, in many ways it kept from Him. Once you realize you're never going to be 'right' enough then, well in my case anyway, you give up.
Trying so hard to do all the right things. Wear the proper clothes a good christian girl would, go to the right college a good christian girl would. The list could go and on. And it did.
Until I couldn't do right enough. So then I didn't do right at all for a season.
Yes, I was still a believer-a Christian-but was living in such defeat.

Now, don't get me wrong I'm not saying we should go out and live like what we want, not caring a thing for what others think and just doing whatever we please. I believe there are things as Christ followers that should set us apart from everyone else.
But, I am saying the older I get the more I think those lists have less to do with the outside of a person and much more to do with their hearts.

The Bible tells us that mans looks at the outside, but God looks at the heart.
And it's filled with stories about how looking outwardly got the people of God into trouble.

We can attempt to live prim and proper lives, but The One who sees my dark and shady heart even when I am doing 'right' on the outside is who I need to be concerned about pleasing.

I'm not saying it's easy. It's not. It is so much easier to make a list of rules, check them off one by and one and decide that I am 'doing right' and since I am 'doing right' then I must be right.

It's a much harder thing to examine my heart and see what is there.
Hypocrisy, racism, pride, envy, lust, deception, gossip, lying. That list could go on and on too.

So, I pray.

I pray, Lord wash me and I shall be whiter than snow. Make me a fit vessel to serve You for your purpose and agenda not my own.
Make me whole from the inside out. Make me less concerned about doing right and more concerned about being right with You, the Creator of Heaven and Earth, who looks right past my plastic smile and so-called goodness and sees the very heart of me.
Help me set aside my man made check list and instead be passionate about following YOU ALONE and not man.
And when it becomes easier, for a season, to follow man's rules instead of yours help my wandering heart to come running back to you.

Eight

Eight years.
Eight years of watching my little baby who struggled to make it into this world and almost did us both in, become a thriving, brave, fun loving, young man.

Eight years of laughter, trying to keep up, Hot Wheels, trucks, balls, Crayons, Music,
dirt, worms, hugs, snuggles, tree climbing and silly jokes.

Sometimes I look into your big brown eyes and wonder who you'll be when you're an adult.

Sometimes I look into your big brown eyes and wonder, WHAT were you thinking??

Sometimes I look into your big brown eyes and think God has some Big Big plans for you!

I love to hear you pray. You have a way of talking to God that even most adults don't.
You have a faith and conviction that spurs me on in my own.

Your laugh is loud and contagious.
You are always on the move. Climbing a tree, racing down the street on your bike, playing soccer with your friends. Being still is not something you like to do, yet when you sit in big church I am amazed at how you are still and how you listen.

You're reading all on your own now, but still like a story from Mom at bedtime. And that makes me happy.
You love to fish with your Dad and listen to music with him. The electric guitar fascinates you and you are a rocker down to your core.

Your compassion for others is a privilege

to watch and convicting at the same time.
Your sense of fairness and justice is something most others could learn from and live by.

Your little sister adores you! And although she can drive you a bit batty at times, you often can be found reading to her, playing music with her and you don't leave the house for school without giving her a hug and kiss.

The Lord blessed Daddy and I with the gift of you. Being your mom has made me grow and stretch and learn to be brave.

Happy Birthday Little Man, it's my honor to be called your Mom and I can't wait to watch you change the world!

Tulips

Spring as finally sprung here in Kansas.
Trees are budding, the grass is turning green,robins are singing their songs, and my lilac bushes smell DIVINE!

We have also enjoyed watching our tulips push their way out of the ground just to brighten our lives. A colorful reminder that indeed winter is over.

The Princess and her Daddy spent last Saturday together while I was a women's conference and the boys were at a party.
When I got home there was some serious excitement that the tulips had FINALLY opened up.
She was/is so thrilled to see them! Frankly, we were too.
They are just beautiful.

Monday morning was a bit cooler and as we left to run some errands The Princess was sad to see the tulips had closed back up.
Seems our Girl takes natures ways personally.

I assured her that as it warmed back up during the day that our beautiful tulips would open back up. It took some convincing but she finally believed me and a emotional breakdown was adverted.

By the time we got back home they had indeed opened back up and were thriving in their beauty.

By Tuesday however I noticed it was taking them longer to open back up and they weren't quite as vibrant as before.
It was as if closing and opening had taken it's toll on them and they had just decided it would be easier to remain closed.

Once Wednesday arrived, they weren't even trying to open back up.
Sadness for all of us.

But, it got me to thinking. I know a lot of people like those tulips.
Beautiful, who bring joy to those who they meet. Then something happens and they close up.
Sometimes, as self preservation, sometimes just because it's easier.
And by the time they've done that a few times they just decided it's easier to remain closed.
Maybe it is. I know I've felt that way before.
But, although it might be easier it's not how we were created to live, so we begin to shrivel up. We curl inward and won't let anyone or anything in.
We're just a remnant of what we COULD be.
No longer providing what we were created to be for those around us.

Just closed up shells, reminders of what we were supposed to be.

Life hurts sometimes. People can be mean and uncaring. Circumstances can wear a Girl down.
But, I refuse to be closed off any longer.
I want to reach for the sun, be a bright spot in someones day, not just a reminder that life is hard.

Doesn't mean I haven't been hurt or that I don't have every reason in the world to remain closed.
But, it's not what I was created for.

Thank You, Little Pink Tulip for reminding me to stand in the warmth of the sun and live the way I was created to be.

Vision Trouble

Yesterday the Princess was watching Diego for awhile and they were talking about Condors and their vision. When she looked at me and said you don't have good eyes Momma because you have to wear glasses.
And, it's true.
I am blind as a bat, completely lost without my glasses. They are the first thing I reach for when I wake up. I don't take a step without my glasses on.

Perhaps that is why I love the old hymn Be Thou My Vision. I can relate to not being able to see with a little help with my vision.


Be Thou My Vision
O Lord of my heart,
Naught be all else to me, save that Thou Art.
Thou my best thought, by day or by night,
Waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light.

Be Thou my Wisdom, and Thou my true Word;
I ever with Thee and Thou with me, Lord;
Thou my great Father, I thy true son;
Thou in me dwelling, and I with Thee one.

Riches I head not, nor man's empty praise,
Thou mine Inheritance, now and always:
Thou and Thou only, first in my heart,
High King of Heaven, my Treasure Thou art.


Yes, I have a vision problem that requires glasses, but I also have a heart problem that require me to have a vision I don't possess on my own.
His vision for my life, for those around me and how I view them.
That my every thought when sleeping and when I wake would be all about HIM and how I can bring glory to His name.
His wisdom and not my own.
Not the World's riches or empty praise,
But the inheritance of Heaven.

It can seem overwhelming to try and live up to that-and on my own I certainly couldn't even come close.
That's why I pray," Lord, give me your vision, otherwise I'll never be able to see."
That his will and way would be the first thing I reach for and not take one step without them!

Bird Brain

We are having lots of fun watching the grass turn green, seeing the flowers begin to bloom and hearing the robins sing.
Well, most of the robins. We've got one here that is just a bit crazy.

It began about two weeks ago when I began to hear this thumping noise about every 30 seconds.
The house was still and all you could hear was this steady thud. So, of course, I had to go and investigate.

What I came upon was a robin running into our front window about every thirty seconds.
At first I was worried about the silly thing- I mean who wants a bird to kill itself running into their window?

The Princess was at home with me and together we tried scaring it away-which worked for a couple of minutes but then the crazy thing was back.
So then I hung a towel up over the window, thinking perhaps it could see it's reflection and thought if was fending another bird off.
Didn't work.

At this point (several hours in) I no longer felt sorry for the silly thing but annoyed.

He was beginning to freak the Princess out and the constant thumping was driving me crazy.

The boys immediately spotted and heard him when they got home from school, and they tried scaring him away as well, no luck.

In fact, the silly thing is still there, perched on the tree outside the front window. He doesn't thump as consistently now, but several times a day he comes flying as hard as he can at the window and know what he finds?? The window is still there!

But, as crazy as he's made all of us, he's gotten me thinking as well.

How am I any different?

I often find myself doing the same thing over and over again. The result never changes. I'm still not allowed in-nor should I be.

The same situations over and over again, you'd think a girl would learn her lesson.
And sometimes I do, then for whatever reason, I'll dive head long into the same mess.

In the New Testament the Apostle Paul talks about doing the things he doesn't want to and not doing what he should. (LFA12 version)
I've got to say there is some comfort in that-knowing I'm not the only one.

So, what is this crazy bird brained girl to do?

Shake my feathers, spread my wings and head the other way!
Pull up and turn when I see myself heading toward the same glass window, before I thud.

Maybe I'm the only one who struggles with falling into the same patterns and finding myself doing the same things over and over again.
Maybe, but I doubt it.
So, if you happen to find yourself in the same pattern of disobedience, doubt, self-loathing, anger, discontentment -whatever wall you're running into over and over again.
I'm praying for you today.
Praying that you can live in victory!
That you can fly away from the wall and into the freedom God has planned for us!

It's a clear blue sky, let' soar together !

Cowboy boots and Tutu's

The Princess's favorite outfit combination the last couple of weeks has been her pink cowboy boots and fluffy tutu.

Yep, that' my girl-and I wouldn't change a thing!

Today when she hopped out of the car it got me thinking of how that is a perfect picture of how we as women should be.

Tough, like the leather of the boots-let's face it our toes are going to get stepped on-, but soft and sweet like the tutu-because without the gentleness of a lady this world we be a harder place to survive.

What a balance that can be? Surely, it's not just me that thinks so.

The World and life in general can toughen a girl up, sometimes so much so that we become harden and difficult.
Or we can be so dainty and delicate the first strong wind would blow us away.

Balance.

Easy to say, hard to do. Yet, my little girl does it so naturally. Perhaps we make it harder than it has to be. (and by we I mean me)

In the Quiet of the Night

In the quiet of the night, the house is so still.
Quite different from last night where thunder, lightening and hail were all around.

Tonight I hear the fizz of my freshly poured Diet Coke, the softly played lullaby's from the Princess's room, the tap tap tap of my fingers on the keyboard and the hum of the fridge.

Ahh, I'm basking it in, for it doesn't happen often around here. Even Max the Wonder Dog is still tonight.

But, my mind is racing.

We've just attended a two day conference at our church entitled, Truth Revealed. I can't put into words here all the Holy Spirit is doing inside of me at this moment.

But, in the quiet of this night, there is a serious churning going on in my heart.

I don't think I've ever done this before, but I'm putting the link up to my church's web site and the conference web site, so you can go and listen to the messages. I can promise you it will be worth your time!
Let me just say that all 5 speakers were gifted, Christ minded preachers and I was blessed by each and everyone of them, but if you only have time for one, begin with last session from Dr. Russell Moore, dean at The Southern Seminary. It will not be a waste of time. Whether, like me you've been in church since you were a 'bed baby', or you new to this whole Christianity thing or you're still searching. You will be blessed.

www.truthrevealedconference.com or www.bluevalleybaptist.org.
Download them and give them a listen.

And, I want you to know, that I'm praying for YOU tonight. Each reader, that the Lord God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob would be so real and evident to you-whatever your circumstances may be right now. May you feel His presence and peace draw near.

Blessings,
Angie