(and let me just saying joining an online group for something like this is WAAAYY out of my comfort zone)
We were given the assignment to pick something reckless we were going to focus on completing over those next days, along with daily assignments from Jon.
Yesterday our assignment had to do with the word "Audacious" and what that mean in our lives.
My only real understanding of that word had more to do with fashion and attitude than anything else so I did what a modern girl does and goggled it.
Audacious- here's some of what I found:
intrepidly daring : Adventerous
marked by originality
Can I just except for maybe the third one, I typically don't fit the definition of that definition!
Maybe I used to, after all I did move to Germany when I was barely 20, unafraid of what the future held. . .little did I know it held a really cute Airman man from Texas who I was recklessly bold in marrying six months later. But that was 21 years ago.
Maybe it's been time or motherhood or a combo of both that has made me more cautious. . .
But, then I began writing a couple of years ago, and let me say that takes some daring to put your heart out there for the world to see.
Then I began working on the Women's Ministry Team at my church. . .totally stretching past the preschoolers I'm much more comfortable with serving. What an adventure that has proven to be.
And with a combo of those two things, speaking opportunities had begun popping up, and not only that be what I feel has been a clear and unmistakable tugging from the Holy Spirit, that I have indeed have a calling to encourage and uplift women.
That feels so recklessly bold to say.
And while in some ways it is bold to say 'I have a calling', in other so many other ways, I want to be like a turtle, poke my head out and say it then crawl back inside my shell.
But the pulling, tugging, straining at my heart just can't be ignored any longer.
So, over these next 24 days I will audaciously be putting my self out there.
I want to follow Jesus with reckless abandon in doing what I feel so clearly he has called me to.
I want to face my fears head on.
Yesterday my little one did just that.
Seemingly out of no where, she looked at me and said "I'm going off the diving board. I'm ready"
(She can swim, but deep water scares her and add the hight and pressure of everyone watching you at the pool and let's just say it hasn't been something she's wanted to do. She COULD do it mind you, she just let her fear stop her.)
So, she did.