I enjoy things that I've had for a long time.
A worn out blanket, a favorite robe. . the Hubs laughs and shakes his head at my two favorite towels-that I've had since COLLEGE!(to say they are worn out would be an understatement, yet I can't bear to part with them)
I watch the same old movies every Christmas and put up the same decorations-it makes me happy and all warm and snugly inside.
About 5 years ago, I was sitting in class at church, learning how to counsel others. Knowing I was going to being working with women. And, I remember thinking-but I don't do that (work with Women) I work in preschool, because that is where I am comfortable.
Over these past 5 years, I've seen God move in my heart in life-in ways I would have NEVER imagine or chosen.
I'm finding sometimes it's good not to be so comfortable!
Then, about a month ago now, I was standing during the Worship time on a Sunday morning and the CLEAR thought went through my head-"You know you are really in a place in your life now were you should be mentoring someone"
I don't often have such clear directives like that so I paid attention and said 'Yes, you're right, I would love to do that'. Thinking about what young mom would come across my path.
That night at a fellowship ( that is code for Baptist to eat)I had a friend come to me and ask if I would be willing to lead a Follow Group ( small groups, mentoring, accountability and Bible study) of 6th and 7th grade girls.
Ummm, I'm sorry I'm not comfortable with that. . . I don't do teenagers. . .frankly they frighten me. . .Of course, being the good girl I am, I'd said I'd pray about it. Yeah, I'd pray about it alright-pray she'd move on ask somebody else!
But, pray I did and what I heard (not audibly but in my Spirit) was 'Do you believe I told you to begin mentoring or not?' YES, but NOT giggling teenagers, who might ask me some VERY UNCOMFORTABLE questions!!
'Do you believe, I told you or not? Now obey.'
So, I called and said yes-NOT hiding the fact that I am seriously out of my comfort zone.
Our first meeting, before we broke into our small groups, we met in the larger main youth room. As I watched these teens come in, I broke out into a cold sweat, and kept moving to a corner in the back of the room. (BTW, my very dear friend in serving in Africa right now in the middle of nowhere, so I do totally get that there are much harder things to be called too)
All, I kept thinking was that I was in the WRONG place!
Then I met my girls and we went to our own room-and YES there was much giggling-but as I looked into their faces, I realized these were the young women in training to take my generations place.
Now, I can't say they still don't scare me a touch, but I do know, I'd rather be obedient than comfortable.
**This was written almost two years ago for my Daddy's birthday. Seemed appropriate to share it again this Father's Day weekend.
Today is my Daddy's 60th birthday.
I've been called a Daddy's girl many times in my life, and that is a compliment to me.
I get told I look like him and I know we act alike sometimes.
Which tickles me, because you see, my Daddy chose me. He didn't have to love me, he just did.
After a tragic accident my Momma was left a YOUNG single mom.
My parents worked at the same place, but didn't 'officially' know each other and some mutual friends set them up on a blind date.
Mom brought me. If this guy didn't like me what was the point??
We all fell in love with each other and the rest is history. I wasn't quite 2 and don't remember a day without my daddy. And to this day, would dare someone to say to his face that I wasn't his daughter!
He's the strong silent type, but when he speaks you should listen, because there is more than likely some great advise or insight in what he says.
He's humble. He has a Purple Heart from his tour in Vietnam. I was in awe of that thing, but he blew it off like it was no big deal. Just doing the job that was asked of him and his generation.
My Daddy's is a Melancholy who has a Sanguine for a daughter and I can assure you that provided MUCH drama during the teen years. MUCH. Drama.
As I look back, I realize how much he had to stretch himself for me. But, he never said no the the house full of friends, slumber parties or giant birthday parties.
He just did them because he knew it's what I would like, even though it often took him way beyond his comfort zone.
Because that's what Daddy's do for the children.
I've watched him with my children and the love he has for the them is evident to all. And I'll never forget the day my first born was born and Daddy came in the room and we placed him in his arms and announced that we had named him after Daddy.
I can count on one hand how many times I've seen my Daddy cry. That was one of those days. Such joy and love!
But, I think of all the things my Daddy has shown me, is what it's like to be a Daughter of the King.
Because, He chose me too. I knew from an early age what it meant to be chosen by someone who loves you and how you can never be separated. Such a clear picture my Daddy gave me of the love of God toward His children.
Thank You Daddy for loving me, sacrificing for me, loving my children beyond measure. But, more than that-for showing me the love of Jesus.
You are an amazing man and your family loves you so much.
Happy Happy Birthday!
Today is my Daddy's 60th birthday.
I've been called a Daddy's girl many times in my life, and that is a compliment to me.
I get told I look like him and I know we act alike sometimes.
Which tickles me, because you see, my Daddy chose me. He didn't have to love me, he just did.
After a tragic accident my Momma was left a YOUNG single mom.
My parents worked at the same place, but didn't 'officially' know each other and some mutual friends set them up on a blind date.
Mom brought me. If this guy didn't like me what was the point??
We all fell in love with each other and the rest is history. I wasn't quite 2 and don't remember a day without my daddy. And to this day, would dare someone to say to his face that I wasn't his daughter!
He's the strong silent type, but when he speaks you should listen, because there is more than likely some great advise or insight in what he says.
He's humble. He has a Purple Heart from his tour in Vietnam. I was in awe of that thing, but he blew it off like it was no big deal. Just doing the job that was asked of him and his generation.
My Daddy's is a Melancholy who has a Sanguine for a daughter and I can assure you that provided MUCH drama during the teen years. MUCH. Drama.
As I look back, I realize how much he had to stretch himself for me. But, he never said no the the house full of friends, slumber parties or giant birthday parties.
He just did them because he knew it's what I would like, even though it often took him way beyond his comfort zone.
Because that's what Daddy's do for the children.
I've watched him with my children and the love he has for the them is evident to all. And I'll never forget the day my first born was born and Daddy came in the room and we placed him in his arms and announced that we had named him after Daddy.
I can count on one hand how many times I've seen my Daddy cry. That was one of those days. Such joy and love!
But, I think of all the things my Daddy has shown me, is what it's like to be a Daughter of the King.
Because, He chose me too. I knew from an early age what it meant to be chosen by someone who loves you and how you can never be separated. Such a clear picture my Daddy gave me of the love of God toward His children.
Thank You Daddy for loving me, sacrificing for me, loving my children beyond measure. But, more than that-for showing me the love of Jesus.
You are an amazing man and your family loves you so much.
Happy Happy Birthday!
My darling little princess got her feelings hurt before dinner tonight.
Well, she said her feelings were-and who am I to say they weren't-but really, it seems to this momma that she was just M A D.
At one point she stomped out of the kitchen and proclaimed "I AM GOING TO SIT ON MY MOUNTAIN ALL BY MYSELF!!!"
Sometimes, it's so hard not to laugh inappropriately at my little people.
Little Miss came back about 5 minutes later, telling me it was lonely on her mountain (a stack of blankets in the family room) and could she PLEASE be with me.
So, we hugged, all was forgiven and we moved on.
But, try as I might, I can't help but get that huffy proclamation out of my head-I'm going to sit on my mountain all by myself!
I've got some friends who've done that, gotten their feelings hurt and huffed off to their own little mountain.
Just written off a community of people, because their feelings are hurt-or they are M A D and just walked away.
Lest I sound high and mighty, I've certainly wanted to or tried to do that too.
In lots of ways it sounds good doesn't it?
Sitting up on our own mountain, able to make our own rules, no annoying people to deal with or be bothered by.
But, Jesus calls us to community. We aren't allowed to just stomp off and walk away-as much as it might feel good to do so at the time.
And, let's face it. It can be a cold and lonely place on top of our mountains.
So, down in the valley is where I'll choose to live. It's crowded and complicated at times. And the seeming peace from the mountain top may call to me (although, I've found over the years, that I can and do annoy myself!) but life is meant to be shared.
Thanks for taking a little time out of your life to share it with me!
Well, she said her feelings were-and who am I to say they weren't-but really, it seems to this momma that she was just M A D.
At one point she stomped out of the kitchen and proclaimed "I AM GOING TO SIT ON MY MOUNTAIN ALL BY MYSELF!!!"
Sometimes, it's so hard not to laugh inappropriately at my little people.
Little Miss came back about 5 minutes later, telling me it was lonely on her mountain (a stack of blankets in the family room) and could she PLEASE be with me.
So, we hugged, all was forgiven and we moved on.
But, try as I might, I can't help but get that huffy proclamation out of my head-I'm going to sit on my mountain all by myself!
I've got some friends who've done that, gotten their feelings hurt and huffed off to their own little mountain.
Just written off a community of people, because their feelings are hurt-or they are M A D and just walked away.
Lest I sound high and mighty, I've certainly wanted to or tried to do that too.
In lots of ways it sounds good doesn't it?
Sitting up on our own mountain, able to make our own rules, no annoying people to deal with or be bothered by.
But, Jesus calls us to community. We aren't allowed to just stomp off and walk away-as much as it might feel good to do so at the time.
And, let's face it. It can be a cold and lonely place on top of our mountains.
So, down in the valley is where I'll choose to live. It's crowded and complicated at times. And the seeming peace from the mountain top may call to me (although, I've found over the years, that I can and do annoy myself!) but life is meant to be shared.
Thanks for taking a little time out of your life to share it with me!
I've had a song stuck in my head for days now. DAYS I TELL YOU!
Which has been ok, since it's not the Yo Gabba Gabba theme song or anything by Justin Bieber. . .
I love music and I especially love Christian music so my radio is often on-helping get me through my day. So, once a song hits the stations rotation list, chances are it's getting stuck in my head. Sometimes, it's scary to be me ;)
Well, this song by Chris August has -what I think-is an amazing lyric. "Giving my life for the only One, Who made the moon reflect the sun."
Profound. I find myself humming it randomly.
But, as I began thinking of the lyrics, I also began wondering if it's true. Do I really give my life for the only One who made the moon reflect the sun?
As a stay at home mom sometimes life can feel a bit mundane and ordinary. Repetitive might also be a good word. Wiping noses and changing diapers. Packing lunches and doing laundry. Breaking up the 500th argument about the remote.
Maybe working in an office can feel the same way, I just don't have that life experience.
So, has I was folding my 20th t-shirt in a row, I began doing it not out of necessity, but out of love.
Love for the person who would be wearing the shirt, but also out of love for the one who made me.
After all, He blessed me with this life. He gave me this beautiful family to care for and nurture. And sometimes that means folding 10 loads of laundry, making what seems like the same meal for the 1000 time. But, instead of doing those things just because they have to be done, I'm trying to do them as acts of service for my Lord.
No, it's not saving lives in some jungle far away, it's not having an alter call where hundreds come forward to follow Jesus.
But, it is my gift to give back to Him. The one he's allowed me to have them so I'll be able to give it back to him.
Seems small in comparison to what He's given me, but it's my offering to give, daily sometimes hourly. To remember I'm not doing any of these things for anyone other than Him.
Which has been ok, since it's not the Yo Gabba Gabba theme song or anything by Justin Bieber. . .
I love music and I especially love Christian music so my radio is often on-helping get me through my day. So, once a song hits the stations rotation list, chances are it's getting stuck in my head. Sometimes, it's scary to be me ;)
Well, this song by Chris August has -what I think-is an amazing lyric. "Giving my life for the only One, Who made the moon reflect the sun."
Profound. I find myself humming it randomly.
But, as I began thinking of the lyrics, I also began wondering if it's true. Do I really give my life for the only One who made the moon reflect the sun?
As a stay at home mom sometimes life can feel a bit mundane and ordinary. Repetitive might also be a good word. Wiping noses and changing diapers. Packing lunches and doing laundry. Breaking up the 500th argument about the remote.
Maybe working in an office can feel the same way, I just don't have that life experience.
So, has I was folding my 20th t-shirt in a row, I began doing it not out of necessity, but out of love.
Love for the person who would be wearing the shirt, but also out of love for the one who made me.
After all, He blessed me with this life. He gave me this beautiful family to care for and nurture. And sometimes that means folding 10 loads of laundry, making what seems like the same meal for the 1000 time. But, instead of doing those things just because they have to be done, I'm trying to do them as acts of service for my Lord.
No, it's not saving lives in some jungle far away, it's not having an alter call where hundreds come forward to follow Jesus.
But, it is my gift to give back to Him. The one he's allowed me to have them so I'll be able to give it back to him.
Seems small in comparison to what He's given me, but it's my offering to give, daily sometimes hourly. To remember I'm not doing any of these things for anyone other than Him.
Happy Back to school week!
Two boys back at school and the family trying to get back in the swing of the school day routine.
We've enjoyed an fun filled summer that including sleeping past 7 most days-so this time of year is always an interesting transition!
Baby girl is still at home with Momma this year (thank you Jesus-I dread the day she walks through the doors of school and doesn't look back)so doesn't have to wake up as early as the boys. But, with all the excitement the past two days it was impossible to sleep through! (which is a good thing- who isn't excited about a fresh new start and seeing your friends everyday??).
We are, more often than not, a cold cereal-piece of toast-kinda family. But, those first few days of school, I make a big hot breakfast. Nothing says 'I love you and I'll miss while you're gone' than fried pork product!
Well, yesterday it was french toast sticks and sausage links. The excitement was contagious and little girl didn't know whether to eat or follow her big brothers around watching & 'helping' them get ready.
And, while I'm usually a stickler about sitting at the table. . sit down. SIT down. SIT DOWN. (sorry, I was getting a twitch) there was just entirely too much going on to make that happen.
And, she said she wasn't hungry anyway.
But, then I saw her come running and grab a toast stick off the table as she went back to what she was doing. About 10 minutes later the same thing with a sausage link.
Then we were out the door to join the rest of the Momarratize taking the required 1st day of school pictures.
After getting the boys to their classes/locker -you can go now Mom-really you can. . .we were back home ready to tackle the day.
We'd only been home a little bit when I heard "Momma, I'm hungry!".
"But, we just ate breakfast." my reply. "But, I'm Huunnggery!!"
This is when it dawns on me her tummy doesn't even know she put anything in it, she was so busy running around while just taking a couple of bits.
I was reminded about how much I miss of the feast, God has prepared for me.
A feast, I'm too busy to enjoy. Can't appreciate, because there is so much going on around me I think I need to help with-I can't sit still and enjoy what is spread before me.
Yes, I might sit and have a quick word with Him, say a quick prayer in the morning and then wonder why I can't funciton in His power an hour later!
It's not because the food-His word- isn't there for me. It's because I haven't taken the time to sit and partake of the table spread before me.
How full I would be and not so ready to fill up with junk later on.
So, I will come and sit before Him at the table He's prepared for me and feast with Him. And be full.
Two boys back at school and the family trying to get back in the swing of the school day routine.
We've enjoyed an fun filled summer that including sleeping past 7 most days-so this time of year is always an interesting transition!
Baby girl is still at home with Momma this year (thank you Jesus-I dread the day she walks through the doors of school and doesn't look back)so doesn't have to wake up as early as the boys. But, with all the excitement the past two days it was impossible to sleep through! (which is a good thing- who isn't excited about a fresh new start and seeing your friends everyday??).
We are, more often than not, a cold cereal-piece of toast-kinda family. But, those first few days of school, I make a big hot breakfast. Nothing says 'I love you and I'll miss while you're gone' than fried pork product!
Well, yesterday it was french toast sticks and sausage links. The excitement was contagious and little girl didn't know whether to eat or follow her big brothers around watching & 'helping' them get ready.
And, while I'm usually a stickler about sitting at the table. . sit down. SIT down. SIT DOWN. (sorry, I was getting a twitch) there was just entirely too much going on to make that happen.
And, she said she wasn't hungry anyway.
But, then I saw her come running and grab a toast stick off the table as she went back to what she was doing. About 10 minutes later the same thing with a sausage link.
Then we were out the door to join the rest of the Momarratize taking the required 1st day of school pictures.
After getting the boys to their classes/locker -you can go now Mom-really you can. . .we were back home ready to tackle the day.
We'd only been home a little bit when I heard "Momma, I'm hungry!".
"But, we just ate breakfast." my reply. "But, I'm Huunnggery!!"
This is when it dawns on me her tummy doesn't even know she put anything in it, she was so busy running around while just taking a couple of bits.
I was reminded about how much I miss of the feast, God has prepared for me.
A feast, I'm too busy to enjoy. Can't appreciate, because there is so much going on around me I think I need to help with-I can't sit still and enjoy what is spread before me.
Yes, I might sit and have a quick word with Him, say a quick prayer in the morning and then wonder why I can't funciton in His power an hour later!
It's not because the food-His word- isn't there for me. It's because I haven't taken the time to sit and partake of the table spread before me.
How full I would be and not so ready to fill up with junk later on.
So, I will come and sit before Him at the table He's prepared for me and feast with Him. And be full.
I celebrated another birthday this week. NOT a BIG birthday but a birthday none the less.
Sunday we spent the day with my folks and my mom made a delicious cake, that was my great grandmother's recipe. SO YUMMY!!
After lunch we headed out to their pool, leaving the cake/candle festivities until later in the day.
A couple hours into swimming one of my boys declared he was hungry and heading in for a snack. A few minutes later he was back, saying he'd cut the cake for everyone and had a piece himself. That was really the last I'd thought about it until later that evening when the singing commenced and there among the candlelight was a hole right in the middle of the cake.
My boy was quite pleased with the fact that he'd sliced the cake for everyone and when I asked where he gotten his piece, he said the middle one because that's the best!
Just tickled me to no end. And as I lay in bed later that night reflecting on the day, I had to stop and thank Jesus. He has brought me so far! You see there was a time when a hole-I mean HOLE in the middle of the cake would have made me crazy.
With a capital C.
I like things to be 'perfect'. Or at least act like they are.
Or I used to, I've come along way (thank you JESUS-it's ONLY BECAUSE OF YOU!)
There are many reasons why-the atmosphere in the school/church I grew up. The yearning to be enough DO enough. But it never was.
Square peg in the round hole. Striving but never arriving, then giving up. And if you can't be perfectly perfect, you can be perfectly bad. Either choice makes a huge mess and is hard to untangle.
It has been a long journey to realize that who I am in Christ is enough. There doesn't need to be more. I don't need to pretend there is more. Others can chose to accept me and the flaws ( there are many)because trying to pretend that there isn't a hole in the middle of the cake is entirely to difficult!
Sometimes the dishes are in the sink, the kids (and mom) are cranky and there is a hole right in the middle of the cake.
Not perfect. NEVER perfect. But willing. Willing to be used in the beautiful mess that is me and my life.Not looking around at others who I 'think' are perfect and have it all together. Thinking their life is much easier because of what appears to be perfect on the outside. I am certain there is a hole in the middle of their cake too! Let's face it we all have one. Because I am so convinced that by Christ using the broken, weak messes that we are He shines through us more brightly.
When we pretend to have it all together we (and by we I mean ME) take the glory from Him and place it on ourselves (MYself).
Not perfect, never perfect. But willing and ready.
Now let's go get some cake!
Sunday we spent the day with my folks and my mom made a delicious cake, that was my great grandmother's recipe. SO YUMMY!!
After lunch we headed out to their pool, leaving the cake/candle festivities until later in the day.
A couple hours into swimming one of my boys declared he was hungry and heading in for a snack. A few minutes later he was back, saying he'd cut the cake for everyone and had a piece himself. That was really the last I'd thought about it until later that evening when the singing commenced and there among the candlelight was a hole right in the middle of the cake.
My boy was quite pleased with the fact that he'd sliced the cake for everyone and when I asked where he gotten his piece, he said the middle one because that's the best!
Just tickled me to no end. And as I lay in bed later that night reflecting on the day, I had to stop and thank Jesus. He has brought me so far! You see there was a time when a hole-I mean HOLE in the middle of the cake would have made me crazy.
With a capital C.
I like things to be 'perfect'. Or at least act like they are.
Or I used to, I've come along way (thank you JESUS-it's ONLY BECAUSE OF YOU!)
There are many reasons why-the atmosphere in the school/church I grew up. The yearning to be enough DO enough. But it never was.
Square peg in the round hole. Striving but never arriving, then giving up. And if you can't be perfectly perfect, you can be perfectly bad. Either choice makes a huge mess and is hard to untangle.
It has been a long journey to realize that who I am in Christ is enough. There doesn't need to be more. I don't need to pretend there is more. Others can chose to accept me and the flaws ( there are many)because trying to pretend that there isn't a hole in the middle of the cake is entirely to difficult!
Sometimes the dishes are in the sink, the kids (and mom) are cranky and there is a hole right in the middle of the cake.
Not perfect. NEVER perfect. But willing. Willing to be used in the beautiful mess that is me and my life.Not looking around at others who I 'think' are perfect and have it all together. Thinking their life is much easier because of what appears to be perfect on the outside. I am certain there is a hole in the middle of their cake too! Let's face it we all have one. Because I am so convinced that by Christ using the broken, weak messes that we are He shines through us more brightly.
When we pretend to have it all together we (and by we I mean ME) take the glory from Him and place it on ourselves (MYself).
Not perfect, never perfect. But willing and ready.
Now let's go get some cake!
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