Saturday, January 14, 2012

Spilled

When I got the call from my Mom this morning that my girl was sick, my first emotion was anger and unbelief.

She had been vomiting since New Years Day, and after our third trip into the Doctor's office  this week, it really seemed that by Thursday/Friday she was back to her usual happy self.

Then the phone rang. And once again back to square one.

By the time we got to the doctors office I was no longer angry, I was numb.

They decided to send us for (more) testing at our local children's hospital.
Scary words were thrown around.

On the ten minute drive from the office to the hospital emotion swept over me.

My girl could barely hold her head up. She looked absolutely miserable.

Fear began to grip my heart.

My mind racing to all the horrible things that could be wrong.

That's when I saw it.

A nice travel coffee mug in the middle of the road, coffee spilled out everywhere.
Apparently, just filled at the convince store it was across from, then left on top of the car, the driving forgetting about it and driving off, leaving it in the middle of the street spilling out everywhere.

Silent tears began pouring down my face.

In my mind I prayed-SHOUTED- I FEEL JUST LIKE THAT CUP, FORGOTTEN AND SPILLING OUT EVERYWHERE!! GOD CAN YOU SEE MY GIRL?? PLEASE STOP THIS FROM HAPPENING!!

I said more, stopped my silent shouting at God and just poured out every thought, worry and  concern.
I was safe with Him-even when I shouted.

Before we pulled into the parking lot of the hospital, that inaudible, still voice spoke to me.
I felt the peace of the Holy Spirit sweep over my heart.

I've got her, I heard Him say.
I see you both there.
I didn't forget you.
And even though you may feel like your spilling out everywhere, you know I can feel you back up.


Yes, Yes, I know that. We've (God and I and my girl) have been here before.
He's never forgotten us.
And I am reminded once again how He watched His child suffer. Not just that one day on the cross, but for 33 years saw Him misunderstood, mistreated and scorned.

He knows my pain at watching my baby suffer.
He never promised ease. But He did promise peace.
And that's where my heart lays now-surrounded in peace at no matter what comes next.

Perhaps you feel spilled out all over the road today too.
Pour it all out to God. He sees you. He knows.

He'll fill you back up.

He'll fill us all back up, if we'll let Him.

4 comments:

Cat said...

I needed this today. Thank you for sharing your heart. I know mommies who have been through some terrible tragedies with their babies, and while I can't comprehend it, I hope I will trust in the peace of our Father should the time ever come when that is all there is left to do. My prayers are for you and your baby girl tonight, and with a mommy whose baby is with Jesus tonight.

Angie said...

Thanks, Cat. Praying for your Friend.

Hillbilly Tonya said...

I think nothing scares us more than a very sick baby. Good thing you can rest in Him. How do people get through life without God?

Angie said...

I really just have no idea.

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