Monday, February 22, 2010

A Wild Man's Heart

My second born son is a wild, wild man. There is not much he is afraid of, or unwilling to try. ( This also makes him NOT AT ALL LIKE HIS MOTHER!)
He's passionate about everything, whether he loves something completely or dislikes something completely. There is no gray with this child!
He has two volumes, loud and extra loud.
He loves with his whole heart whether it is his Momma and Daddy, baby sister or Jesus. We are still working on the loving the big brother with the whole heart, although I must say we're making progress. (Of course, now that I typed that to share with the world, they will break out into WW3 this afternoon!)

This past weekend, J, had a birthday party for one of his buddies. Excitement was in the air, present was wrapped and hair was slicked back-for at least of few minutes.

Lecture on behavior; given, reviewed and given again.

We arrived and I was allowed to kiss him goodbye( in public no less!), told the birthday boys momma I'd be back at the given time and that I'd be praying for her, and also that she could sit on J if needed.

We were at a mall so the other two kiddos an I made our way around and as the time for pick up approached, headed to the store that was attached to the party room.
The party room has glass walls that look into the store.

I stood there looking at J, having fun with his friends, volume level set between loud and extra loud. Smiling and laughing, seemingly enjoying himself.

When I picked him up he very sweetly told his buddy thanks for the invite and the bday boys momma thank you too. Smiling, carrying his treasure he received from the party.

But, as we walked about 5 feet away, he said 'Momma can I tell you something in your ear?' Well, of course that immediately got my attention as I looked down to say yes and those big brown eyes were filling with tears.
'Oh, what is it Baby?'
'Can I tell you in your ear?'
So, I bent down as my wild man was trying so desperately not to let the tears spill.
'Momma, I got embarrassed.' *sniff, sniff*
'You got embarrassed? What happened?' * trying to not go into Mother Lion mode-who dared embarrass my child!!

He proceeded to tell me a story, which calmed the Mother lion. Basically, I think, because of his wild man ways someone did something to him that I am sure they thought he would find funny and that he could take. I am sure they meant no harm, but my wild man experienced an emotion he isn't so familiar with, he was embarrassed.
So, we talked, hugged and found the chocolate store. Everyone smiling again.

As I was thinking about this over the weekend, I began thinking about the people in my life that I think are one way that very well may be feeling something quite different on the inside.
I got to thinking about when God sent Samuel to anoint a new king for Israel and Samuel asked if He was sure it was to be the youngest son, a Shepard boy. God said, Don't worry about Samuel, you see the outside, I see the heart. (Angie paraphrase)

And, I began to wonder; How many times have I done that? How many times have I either sold someone short on what they were able to do, or the opposite, that 'Oh, they can handle that, they're tough'.
I don't know how many times, but I'm sure it's been more than I'd care to think!

Lord, help see others the way you see them! Help me not presume they are one way, because of how they act in another. Help me look past the outside and see the heart. It will require more work on my part, because it's so much easier to make an assumption then look deep within to someones heart.
Give me your eyes to see!
And, thank you for seeing my heart and loving every part of me!


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