Monday, July 25, 2016

The Things No One Tells You. . .

My poor neglected blog. .. 

If you're here reading after my unexpected 2 month break--thank you!

Life is good, and busy. 

Messy and imperfect as always.

And well, I wouldn't have it any other way.

I've learned more from the imperfect messes than I ever have from any attempt at unattainable  

perfection.

It is such an illusion-perfection-and often the mask of it gets me into more trouble than the 

real life mess.

_______________________________________


With that in mind, here's some things I've discovered on this health journey of mine.

Things people either don't know about, or don't talk about.

I have Hashimoto's   Thyroid Disease, which is certainly treatable and manageable, but causes

me to need to see my endocrinologist every six months. And for a person who is seriously not 

good about going to the doctor-this is a BIG DEAL.

But, since I've began my health journey a year and half ago, it certainly a bit easier.


As of today, I've lost 142 lbs.  Yes, I've lost a person.  My blood pressure and resting heart

rate are fantastic.  I feel good, I can (basically) keep up with the kids and-here's one of the best

parts-no longer sit on the side lines while they are having all the fun.  I love being right in the middle

with them.

There are things though that I've learned and am going through that aren't so great. 

And, I figure, like everything else in my life, if I'm going through it someone else probably

is too and needs to know that they are not alone.

So here are the top things I've discovered that aren't so great.

1) Skin. Lots of loose, stretched out skin.

When you loose  the equivalent of a person, you're going to have some extra skin.  It doesn't matter

how many weights you press or how many miles you run. . .you're going to have extra skin.  And 

you're not going to like it. Also, harder to camouflage in the summer than in the winter.



2) You won't get that you look different for a very long time.

Yes, I often still feel like that 'fat girl' in the room.  When trying on clothes, I often first try on a 

bigger size than what I actually need, because I don't see myself for who I am now.  (I mean come on, 

I spent a lot 'o years in the plus size section.)  Sometimes, when I look in the mirror I don't recognize 

myself and certainly don't always see the now Angie.



3) Losing  weight doesn't solve all your problems

Yes, I'm thinner (not skinny) now than I ever have been in my adult life. However, I still got 'stuff'.

Still have stress (for pete sake I have three kids, two of them teenagers, I've got stress) still have

bills, a mortgage, a ministry, a job.  Stuff. The same stuff you have.

(The cool part is, I've managed to learn not to 'eat' my stress. Thank you Lord for that good gift)




4) People will treat you differently

Even people you love.  Some times it's better. . .which is highly offensive and hurtful. I haven't 

experienced much of this with close family and friends (Thank you Lord for that Good Good Gift!)

But, I've certainly experienced it with my interactions with acquaintances and in the general public.

More attention, kinder. . .you know, at my heaviest I never noticed I was being treated differently.

I had just grown accustom to the behavior.  Now, that my treatment is different I can totally see

the mistreatment or unkindest from before. It's painful, and maddening to think about, and I

pray I never come so far that I forget.

Sometimes, they treat you worse.  There are people in your life that need you to be a certain way.

They need you to stay the same and when you don't, it makes them either angry or uncomfortable.

They will distance themselves from you or write you off altogether.  And make no mistake, it hurts.

But, their ability to handle your change, or not handle it, can't  and shouldn't detour you and I from 

our ultimate  goals.

Live to please the Lord. Let him handle the naysayers.



5) It might never be enough.

No matter how much you lose, how strong you become, if that becomes your whole focus, it

will probable never be enough.

Your value, my value, no matter our size, has not ever --is not now --wrapped up in  a number on a 

scale or the size of our wardrobe.

You and I are enough because Jesus said we are.


_____________________________________

Don't misread me or get me wrong, I've learned more good along this journey. . .much more good

than negative, but I just wanted to share with you 1) so you  know you're not alone if you're going 

through  some of these things or 2) if you know someone who is on a journey like me, you can pray 

for them, it's allot-everyday, it's difficult to not let it consume you, to become your identity, to become 

prideful one minute or  discouraged the next.  There are traps all around.

So, pray for your friends, pray for yourself.  God is with you and me, every step along the way.


Much much love and support along the journey!

XOXO




6 comments:

Traci Krugh said...

Thank you for your vulnerability! Xoxoxo

Texan In Kansas said...

Yes, ma'am! #NailOnTheHead!

Problems are still totally intact! Weight loss hasn't negated them...

There are still hard days... Lots of them. But God is good.

People DO treat me different at my goal weight than they did when I weighed 300 lbs-- and it makes me sad, which is ironic, because they're usually being nicer to me now than they would have been before.

And "SKIN"-- ugh!

And "Still feeling like the fat [boy] in the room..." I so TOTALLY identify with this.

I'm just glad that I'm learning to trust more and more in the Jesus who loves me-- fat or fit. Journey on, Sister; I'm with you!

Angie said...

Thank you for reading!

Angie said...

Happy to be sharing the journey with you My Friend!

Andi said...

We should be pleasing God ALWAYS! :)

Minivan Ministries said...

Congratulations on getting healthier! It is funny that we don't get we look different after we lost weight. Looking at pictures is when I notice. I hope you were able to enjoy your blogging break a little bit!

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