Monday, July 25, 2016
My poor neglected blog. ..
If you're here reading after my unexpected 2 month break--thank you!
Life is good, and busy.
Messy and imperfect as always.
And well, I wouldn't have it any other way.
I've learned more from the imperfect messes than I ever have from any attempt at unattainable
It is such an illusion-perfection-and often the mask of it gets me into more trouble than the
real life mess.
With that in mind, here's some things I've discovered on this health journey of mine.
Things people either don't know about, or don't talk about.
I have Hashimoto's Thyroid Disease, which is certainly treatable and manageable, but causes
me to need to see my endocrinologist every six months. And for a person who is seriously not
good about going to the doctor-this is a BIG DEAL.
But, since I've began my health journey a year and half ago, it certainly a bit easier.
As of today, I've lost 142 lbs. Yes, I've lost a person. My blood pressure and resting heart
rate are fantastic. I feel good, I can (basically) keep up with the kids and-here's one of the best
parts-no longer sit on the side lines while they are having all the fun. I love being right in the middle
There are things though that I've learned and am going through that aren't so great.
And, I figure, like everything else in my life, if I'm going through it someone else probably
is too and needs to know that they are not alone.
So here are the top things I've discovered that aren't so great.
1) Skin. Lots of loose, stretched out skin.
When you loose the equivalent of a person, you're going to have some extra skin. It doesn't matter
how many weights you press or how many miles you run. . .you're going to have extra skin. And
you're not going to like it. Also, harder to camouflage in the summer than in the winter.
2) You won't get that you look different for a very long time.
Yes, I often still feel like that 'fat girl' in the room. When trying on clothes, I often first try on a
bigger size than what I actually need, because I don't see myself for who I am now. (I mean come on,
I spent a lot 'o years in the plus size section.) Sometimes, when I look in the mirror I don't recognize
myself and certainly don't always see the now Angie.
3) Losing weight doesn't solve all your problems
Yes, I'm thinner (not skinny) now than I ever have been in my adult life. However, I still got 'stuff'.
Still have stress (for pete sake I have three kids, two of them teenagers, I've got stress) still have
bills, a mortgage, a ministry, a job. Stuff. The same stuff you have.
(The cool part is, I've managed to learn not to 'eat' my stress. Thank you Lord for that good gift)
4) People will treat you differently
Even people you love. Some times it's better. . .which is highly offensive and hurtful. I haven't
experienced much of this with close family and friends (Thank you Lord for that Good Good Gift!)
But, I've certainly experienced it with my interactions with acquaintances and in the general public.
More attention, kinder. . .you know, at my heaviest I never noticed I was being treated differently.
I had just grown accustom to the behavior. Now, that my treatment is different I can totally see
the mistreatment or unkindest from before. It's painful, and maddening to think about, and I
pray I never come so far that I forget.
Sometimes, they treat you worse. There are people in your life that need you to be a certain way.
They need you to stay the same and when you don't, it makes them either angry or uncomfortable.
They will distance themselves from you or write you off altogether. And make no mistake, it hurts.
But, their ability to handle your change, or not handle it, can't and shouldn't detour you and I from
our ultimate goals.
Live to please the Lord. Let him handle the naysayers.
5) It might never be enough.
No matter how much you lose, how strong you become, if that becomes your whole focus, it
will probable never be enough.
Your value, my value, no matter our size, has not ever --is not now --wrapped up in a number on a
scale or the size of our wardrobe.
You and I are enough because Jesus said we are.
Don't misread me or get me wrong, I've learned more good along this journey. . .much more good
than negative, but I just wanted to share with you 1) so you know you're not alone if you're going
through some of these things or 2) if you know someone who is on a journey like me, you can pray
for them, it's allot-everyday, it's difficult to not let it consume you, to become your identity, to become
prideful one minute or discouraged the next. There are traps all around.
So, pray for your friends, pray for yourself. God is with you and me, every step along the way.
Much much love and support along the journey!