Friday, January 9, 2015

When Mean Girls Grow Up

We've all know at least one.

Maybe we've even been one.

You know the one.

The Mean Girl.

No matter what you do, you're not cool enough, you'll never have it as together as her and you

certainly can't sit with her at the lunch table because you just aren't quite up to her caliber.

We blame it on childhood. On adolescences.

But, I've noticed a very real phenomenon of Mean Girls growing up to become Mean Women.

One of the worst aspects is that they tend to do their cutting down with a smile on their face.

And if they are a believer in Christ, chances are their knife is one hand and their Bible in the other.


Oh the Mean Girls may have grown up and now know that looking someone in the face and

making fun of them is unacceptable behavior, so now they've become passive aggressive Mean

Women.

____________________________


Recently on Facebook I watched a Great Grandmother and Grandmother-a mother/daughter team in

 their 60's and 40's respectively, out and out make fun of someone growing through a difficult season,

 'Because she brought it on herself'.

Can I just be very honest and frank here?

 *Most of the troubles and trails I've had in my life, I brought on myself.  And I thank God everyday

for friends and family that loved and supported me anyway.

* These women quote Scripture, Homeschool, talk about what Bible Study they are doing. They
should be different.

Yet, it's as if none of it matters.

In response to what I saw and some other things I've witnessed recently, I posted this on

Facebook.


"When I see grown women, mothers, grandmothers, great grandmother's being passive aggressive snarky and hateful on fb my judgmental side can raise its ugly head and make me want to smack some Jesus right into them.
And makes me as hateful as them.
Women's ministry is my passion, my calling. Watching women be plain out mean then put 'lol' like it's no big deal, makes me angry then breaks my heart into a thousand pieces. Girls we are all called for so much more than this. So much more.
If you know someone is hurting why Why WHY would you be snarky about it?? Girls who claim to know and love Jesus, can we love each other fully, deeply flaws and all? Isn't that the mark of Christ-"they will know us by our love"? Let's be grace bearers, mercy givers-until it hurts. Until we've given all we can and only Jesus can fill us up to give more.
Let's show the world that Jesus really does make a difference in our lives."


________________________________



Why is this so difficult for us as women?  Perhaps I am generalizing, but I've seen enough examples

to think that I am not generalizing by much.

And the example I despise the most? The one starring back at me the mirror.


Do not mistake my passion on this subject as perfection.

Oh no, I have a long way to go.

I am not perfect, but I am prayerful.



Prayerful that my life would be marked by love and grace and compassion.  Yes, even for those

who I believe may have invited the drama into their lives.

I pray that mercy would flow, even when it's difficult or inconvenient.  Even when I've given and 

given and been stretched and pulled and just don't think I have one more ounce to give.

Because, that's when Jesus meets us both there.  If it was easy to do these things, let's face it, we all 

would.  But, when it becomes draining and time consuming and we are vexed down to our core about

how we could possibly be called on one more time to help this wounded soul, that's when Jesus 

shows up and shows off.  That's when I am reminded that never once has He told me 'I've helped 

you enough, I have nothing left to give.'  Never have I shown up and poured my heart out to him for 

10th time and He has said 'your chances are up. I am through with you.'  I've never been to broken,

battered or flat out crazy and He's written me off and just replaced me with someone else.


I've never been to much of a mess for Jesus.

So, that's how I pray I will love.

___________________________________

But, here's where it becomes tricky. When we pray those prayers,  God's going to believe  we  mean

them. He's going to give us opportunities to practice.

So, let's do it.  Let's practice together.  

Especially, if we say we know Jesus. Let's practice love. Grace. Mercy. Peace and Compassion.

All those things we say we love, that give deep meaning to our faith.

In all areas and people groups of our lives.  Not just our church friends, our Bible study girls . . .the 

'cool girls'.

__________________________

Jesus doesn't have a 'cool table'.  He has a feast.  And I can guarantee you the one He's inviting to sit

next to Him is a mess.  Oh how Jesus loves a mess of a person.  Even ones who make the messes

themselves.  (just read about a few a favorites in Scripture: Abraham, Sarah, Moses, David, Mary 

Magdalen, Peter, Paul-ALL messes at some point.  All used by God.)

It's time for us to grow up.  Put the Mean Girls to rest, leave a legacy of kindness for our daughters.

Live a life marked by extravagant, unearned love.


Ephesians 5:1 - 2 MSG
Wake Up from Your Sleep Watch what God does, and then you do it, like children who learn proper behavior from their parents. Mostly what God does is love you. Keep company with him and learn a life of love. Observe how Christ loved us. His love was not cautious but extravagant. He didn’t love in order to get something from us but to give everything of himself to us. Love like that.


Let this be the year that we cast the Mean Women inside of each of us aside.

Let this be the year we chose love over judgment and envy.

Let this be the year our Bible study and church attendance marks a visible difference in our lives.

Not so we can have any credit at all.  

But, so we can loudly proclaim "It's all because of Jesus!" !




Practicing with you and Praying for us all on this journey,


8 comments:

Tonya Owens said...

Those mean girls when you are a teen? Well they impact you for life.
Those mean older women.. I am sure they impact for life a younger woman attempting to look up to them as Titus 2 women.
We all fall short.

Social media has saved my family from living in the poor house. But social media is so very hard. Your true inner self really comes out if you let it. Sometimes that is good, and sometimes that is bad.

Sarah said...

I didn't finish my post on this topic because I kept thinking about how often I have returned mean for mean. I'm with you...I will do better!

Gathering Grain said...

It's a sad situation when the mean women go through their whole life like this. I too have seen social media become an enabling place because of folks who can't control themselves. They don't practice do unto others as you would have others do unto you. I pray for those like that. I just don't want my daughters to cling to examples like that.

And I pray for those who are like the mean ones you describe. That's all we can do! And trust that God will change their heart. Good post!

Kayleigh Taber said...

"I am not perfect, but I am prayerful."

I love that. This was a great post...I dealt with a lot of harassment in high school and I definitely still feel the aftershocks of that from time to time. Like finding it hard to trust people. I love that God is working on that in me but it is so hard when sisters in Christ do the same thing. I struggled with that at my old church. I just try to extend others the same grace Christ has given me. In my personal experience hurt is hard but resentment does more damage.

Great post!

Anonymous said...

Love this!!!!!! Sooooo true!

Angie said...

Thanks to each one of you for stopping by. I appreciate the comments.

So, good not to have to walk this journey alone!

Amanda said...

"Let's be grace bearers, mercy givers-until it hurts. Until we've given all we can and only Jesus can fill us up to give more."

Yes! Yes! Yes! As Christian, we have been gifted with immeasurable grace. Let's do some regifting.

Rebekah Thompson said...

God definitely answers those prayers for patience, compassion and grace. How else will we improve in those areas except with practice? :-)

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