Me too

If you spent any time on social media you've seen the #metoo.

Women, and some men, sharing their stories or at least raising their hands to be counted among

those who've been sexually assaulted.

I've heard differing opinions on whether this is actually helpful.

I don't know. But I do know that the silence wasn't helpful either.  That's not a judgment on those

who cannot share their stories, but it is a judgment on those who would silence the rest of us.

I've been assaulted twice in my life.  Once at 19 the other at 20.  I was a grown married women until

I fully realized what had been done to me. (<< My answer to critics, and I know they are out there

of why others and myself didn't/don't speak up sooner)

The first incident I didn't speak to anyone about really until just a few years ago. The guilt and shame

I carried with me for 'having put myself in a vulnerable situation' prevented me from seeing or

understanding what really happened to me.

As for my second #metoo story, that's the one I want  to talk about the most.

When you grow up in an extremely conservative environment, you're taught that what you wear

and where you go, play a major part in whether or not you're assaulted.  After all girls who dress

provocatively . . .well what can they expect??

When I was assaulted at 20 (Pushed and pinned against a wall, groped, forcibly trying to kiss me and

telling me 'you know you want to and come on') I was outside the church book store (located inside

the church building) and dressed in a long sleeve shirt and sweater vest and a skirt that basically

touched my ankles.  Predators don't care what you're wearing or not wearing.  When I told those

with the power and responsibility in the church to do anything, about the assault, I was told that I

should show him respect and if I did it wouldn't happen again.

The thing I regret the most is not taking it to his (the assailant) commanding officer (we were at

military base )so I could know for certain it wouldn't happen to someone else.

So, why am I sharing? To give courage to someone who might need it today.. .so she can stand up

and find her voice to say "Yes, Me too" or maybe she even need the courage to say "STOP".

For my daughter.

For my sons.

For The Church.  We MUST do a better job at training, preventing and supporting victims.  I think

we want so badly to think 'that would never happen here' that we look the other way or make excuses

for the abusers. Hear me church members (especially those of a conservative or independent stripe)

It doesn't matter what she's wearing or where she is. Protect her. Believe her. Make sure the women

and girls of your church know they are valued and safe.  Embolden your girls to stand up to the

abusers and bullies in their lives so they don't have to be worried about 'being nice' or 'hurting his

feelings' or 'manliness'.  It is far far past time.


My story isn't nearly as tragic as some and I'm certainly not looking for sympathy. But, I do want

to be counted among the #metoo, because we may not be a powerful force for change on our own, but

together we can and should be.

If you love a #metoo, hear her. Let her speak her story, don't run from it even if it's hard to hear.

If you're a #metoo, find the help and healing you need. Don't live in fear or isolation. Don't let it drive

you from Jesus. He is the healer of the brokenhearted, let him tend to your wounds.

You are dearly loved.

Grace and Peace,