My poor little neglected blog. Thought I might have to blow the cobwebs off my little corner of the interwebs to find it.
Frankly, for a while now I've thought about deleting it and my facebook page that goes with it, because I just wasn't sure I had anything to say anymore.
I cannot recount all the reasons why the past couple of years have been difficult, if you don't know
feel free to scroll through and read some posts about the 'whys'. If you've been following our story,
know for everything you know there's probably 10 other situations you don't.
It's just been allot. Fear, exhaustion, doubt, distrust all left me thinking I no longer had anything to
say.
But, the past few months (and don't get me wrong they haven't been easier) I have felt the 'old' me
beginning to come back to life. A spark here or there, left me thinking 'Oh I've got some words about ________'.
But, then I still couldn't get the words out from my brain to my fingers and keyboard.
This past January I couldn't even come up with a word to focus on for the year.
Even though for years now I've done so, the task of picking and praying about a word to focus on for
the year just seemed to daunting. My only thought/prayer for 2019 was 'please be kind to us'.
But then God.
Most of the moments in my life worth the retelling can begin with those three words.
But then God.
The word Restore keeps coming up over and over again.
I opened a home (for now ;) ) bakery in November out of need for our family to pay some of my
husbands medical bills. I have been baking since I was a kid and as a teenager was always making
something for some event or friend. But, life had marched on and I just got out of the habit
and forgot my love and enjoyment of creating something in the kitchen that brought people
joy. (Seriously, who's ever mad to receive a pie or cake or cookies??) But, out of this great need
for my family, the joy of something I loved was restored to me.
What a gift.
On top of this great gift, a friendship I NEVER thought could be repaired much less restored, God
has brought healing too. . .and not even just healing, although that would have been more than
enough - He added the gift of laughter and true friendship.
After 28 years, he restored that relationship. Of all the miracles in my life I didn't see coming, that
one ranks right up there at the top of the list. And how the healing and restoration came about is
to long to tell here, but God used my dear son and a need he had in his life to bring it about and
that will never not make me smile and shake my head at the wonder of God's ways and timing.
Two years ago I stepped down from formal ministry at my church, in doing so many of my speaking
opportunities dried up as well. I was confused about why God was moving in this way. . .Women's
Ministry is my passion . . .I just couldn't wrap my head around why He would take that from me.
Of course self doubt reared it's ugly head-it's because I'm not good enough, no one wants to hear
what you have to say, there are so many other more qualified people out there. . .the list goes on
and on. (I'm sure you have your own list. . .Satan loves a list and uses us to write it and read it
over and over to ourselves.)
Once again, but then God. Slowly, but surely he is restoring and frankly recreating my ministry
as well. Showing me how much of 'ministry' happens outside of the church walls. He keeps
bringing opportunities and situations to me that leave me looking around wondering 'is this really
happening'?!?! And guess what, often in the aisle of the grocery store. Of course.
In fact one night -and trust me when I tell you that you wouldn't believe me if I told you what
happened. . .I just laughed out loud as I left the store, just praising Him along the way saying over
and over again OF COURSE YOU BROUGHT ME BACK TO AISLE 12!!
There have been other things too during this time, things I'm still processing. How I can keep
being amazed by them is only a testament to God's complete and total grace. There isn't one thing
in my life that makes me deserving of any of it-but yet over and over again He's so good to this crazy
girl.
Are things perfect now and suddenly we have no health worries or medical bills? No. They never
will be this side of heaven.
But, just like all the trees and spring flowers, I can feel myself waking up again from a long cold
nap. Slowly, He is restoring my heart and the places in my life that I never thought could or would
be. . .some I didn't even know needed to be.
One of my favorite things to watch is HGTV especially Fixer Upper, and I'm reminded as they restore
those old houses that it takes time, that they often uncover things they never knew were a problem.
That's where I'm living right now. Right in the middle of my own fixer upper with the Carpenter
restoring me.
My family and I live in the heart of suburbia.
A very well lit community. Which is usually a good thing-until you'd like to view stars or in our case, see the Perseids meteor shower, then that requires a drive out to the country.
Which is exactly what we did. We drove. And then we drove some more, because the first spot we chose still wasn't dark enough.
And then we drove some more because the road we were on was still a bit busy and distracting.
We finally found the perfect dark, isolated spot. ( not what I'm usually looking for when it comes to parking)
All that driving in the dark on roads we were unfamiliar with. . .well frankly can (and did) leave me feeling sick and slightly anxious.
After a few minutes of stillness though, my stomach settled and my mind quieted and I began to look.
It took some time though for my eyes to adjust, even though my husband had driven us to the perfect viewing spot. My eyes, not acquainted with the darkness took some to see what was beautifully laid out before me in the dark summer sky.
When they did finally adjust though. . .WOW what amazing beauty; the stars, the meteors streaking through the sky. All the time, effort and even discomfort was worth it all.
God put on a spectacular show.
I've been thinking about that evening for the past couple of weeks. I've been thinking about how it compares to our journey this past couple of years as a family and for me personally this past year.
In so many ways it feels like we've been driving and driving in the dark. In the dark on roads we are unfamiliar with. . .that frankly with all the ups and downs makes me sick to my stomach sometimes.
Sometimes, I feel like either we are already there, or for sure should be-because surely we've been driving long enough! Or feeling like this spot must be good enough, surely I can see what He is trying to teach me from here.
And yet, further on we go. Further on into the darkness.
I would be dishonest if I said I see the beauty all time.
I don't. Anxiety-something I never struggled with before, now comes to greet me in the dark.
BUT. But, there are times, I KNOW for sure and for certain that I see the beauty/faithfulness/grace of God in these dark places that I wouldn't if I was still sitting in the 'suburbia' of my heart.
So, I'm trusting the driver. I've got to, because I for sure have no idea where we are going.
But, He does.
I'm trusting Him.
Even while driving in the dark.
A very well lit community. Which is usually a good thing-until you'd like to view stars or in our case, see the Perseids meteor shower, then that requires a drive out to the country.
Which is exactly what we did. We drove. And then we drove some more, because the first spot we chose still wasn't dark enough.
And then we drove some more because the road we were on was still a bit busy and distracting.
We finally found the perfect dark, isolated spot. ( not what I'm usually looking for when it comes to parking)
All that driving in the dark on roads we were unfamiliar with. . .well frankly can (and did) leave me feeling sick and slightly anxious.
After a few minutes of stillness though, my stomach settled and my mind quieted and I began to look.
It took some time though for my eyes to adjust, even though my husband had driven us to the perfect viewing spot. My eyes, not acquainted with the darkness took some to see what was beautifully laid out before me in the dark summer sky.
When they did finally adjust though. . .WOW what amazing beauty; the stars, the meteors streaking through the sky. All the time, effort and even discomfort was worth it all.
God put on a spectacular show.
I've been thinking about that evening for the past couple of weeks. I've been thinking about how it compares to our journey this past couple of years as a family and for me personally this past year.
In so many ways it feels like we've been driving and driving in the dark. In the dark on roads we are unfamiliar with. . .that frankly with all the ups and downs makes me sick to my stomach sometimes.
Sometimes, I feel like either we are already there, or for sure should be-because surely we've been driving long enough! Or feeling like this spot must be good enough, surely I can see what He is trying to teach me from here.
And yet, further on we go. Further on into the darkness.
I would be dishonest if I said I see the beauty all time.
I don't. Anxiety-something I never struggled with before, now comes to greet me in the dark.
BUT. But, there are times, I KNOW for sure and for certain that I see the beauty/faithfulness/grace of God in these dark places that I wouldn't if I was still sitting in the 'suburbia' of my heart.
So, I'm trusting the driver. I've got to, because I for sure have no idea where we are going.
But, He does.
I'm trusting Him.
Even while driving in the dark.
If you spent any time on social media you've seen the #metoo.
Women, and some men, sharing their stories or at least raising their hands to be counted among
those who've been sexually assaulted.
I've heard differing opinions on whether this is actually helpful.
I don't know. But I do know that the silence wasn't helpful either. That's not a judgment on those
who cannot share their stories, but it is a judgment on those who would silence the rest of us.
I've been assaulted twice in my life. Once at 19 the other at 20. I was a grown married women until
I fully realized what had been done to me. (<< My answer to critics, and I know they are out there
of why others and myself didn't/don't speak up sooner)
The first incident I didn't speak to anyone about really until just a few years ago. The guilt and shame
I carried with me for 'having put myself in a vulnerable situation' prevented me from seeing or
understanding what really happened to me.
As for my second #metoo story, that's the one I want to talk about the most.
When you grow up in an extremely conservative environment, you're taught that what you wear
and where you go, play a major part in whether or not you're assaulted. After all girls who dress
provocatively . . .well what can they expect??
When I was assaulted at 20 (Pushed and pinned against a wall, groped, forcibly trying to kiss me and
telling me 'you know you want to and come on') I was outside the church book store (located inside
the church building) and dressed in a long sleeve shirt and sweater vest and a skirt that basically
touched my ankles. Predators don't care what you're wearing or not wearing. When I told those
with the power and responsibility in the church to do anything, about the assault, I was told that I
should show him respect and if I did it wouldn't happen again.
The thing I regret the most is not taking it to his (the assailant) commanding officer (we were at
military base )so I could know for certain it wouldn't happen to someone else.
So, why am I sharing? To give courage to someone who might need it today.. .so she can stand up
and find her voice to say "Yes, Me too" or maybe she even need the courage to say "STOP".
For my daughter.
For my sons.
For The Church. We MUST do a better job at training, preventing and supporting victims. I think
we want so badly to think 'that would never happen here' that we look the other way or make excuses
for the abusers. Hear me church members (especially those of a conservative or independent stripe)
It doesn't matter what she's wearing or where she is. Protect her. Believe her. Make sure the women
and girls of your church know they are valued and safe. Embolden your girls to stand up to the
abusers and bullies in their lives so they don't have to be worried about 'being nice' or 'hurting his
feelings' or 'manliness'. It is far far past time.
My story isn't nearly as tragic as some and I'm certainly not looking for sympathy. But, I do want
to be counted among the #metoo, because we may not be a powerful force for change on our own, but
together we can and should be.
If you love a #metoo, hear her. Let her speak her story, don't run from it even if it's hard to hear.
If you're a #metoo, find the help and healing you need. Don't live in fear or isolation. Don't let it drive
you from Jesus. He is the healer of the brokenhearted, let him tend to your wounds.
You are dearly loved.
Grace and Peace,
Women, and some men, sharing their stories or at least raising their hands to be counted among
those who've been sexually assaulted.
I've heard differing opinions on whether this is actually helpful.
I don't know. But I do know that the silence wasn't helpful either. That's not a judgment on those
who cannot share their stories, but it is a judgment on those who would silence the rest of us.
I've been assaulted twice in my life. Once at 19 the other at 20. I was a grown married women until
I fully realized what had been done to me. (<< My answer to critics, and I know they are out there
of why others and myself didn't/don't speak up sooner)
The first incident I didn't speak to anyone about really until just a few years ago. The guilt and shame
I carried with me for 'having put myself in a vulnerable situation' prevented me from seeing or
understanding what really happened to me.
As for my second #metoo story, that's the one I want to talk about the most.
When you grow up in an extremely conservative environment, you're taught that what you wear
and where you go, play a major part in whether or not you're assaulted. After all girls who dress
provocatively . . .well what can they expect??
When I was assaulted at 20 (Pushed and pinned against a wall, groped, forcibly trying to kiss me and
telling me 'you know you want to and come on') I was outside the church book store (located inside
the church building) and dressed in a long sleeve shirt and sweater vest and a skirt that basically
touched my ankles. Predators don't care what you're wearing or not wearing. When I told those
with the power and responsibility in the church to do anything, about the assault, I was told that I
should show him respect and if I did it wouldn't happen again.
The thing I regret the most is not taking it to his (the assailant) commanding officer (we were at
military base )so I could know for certain it wouldn't happen to someone else.
So, why am I sharing? To give courage to someone who might need it today.. .so she can stand up
and find her voice to say "Yes, Me too" or maybe she even need the courage to say "STOP".
For my daughter.
For my sons.
For The Church. We MUST do a better job at training, preventing and supporting victims. I think
we want so badly to think 'that would never happen here' that we look the other way or make excuses
for the abusers. Hear me church members (especially those of a conservative or independent stripe)
It doesn't matter what she's wearing or where she is. Protect her. Believe her. Make sure the women
and girls of your church know they are valued and safe. Embolden your girls to stand up to the
abusers and bullies in their lives so they don't have to be worried about 'being nice' or 'hurting his
feelings' or 'manliness'. It is far far past time.
My story isn't nearly as tragic as some and I'm certainly not looking for sympathy. But, I do want
to be counted among the #metoo, because we may not be a powerful force for change on our own, but
together we can and should be.
If you love a #metoo, hear her. Let her speak her story, don't run from it even if it's hard to hear.
If you're a #metoo, find the help and healing you need. Don't live in fear or isolation. Don't let it drive
you from Jesus. He is the healer of the brokenhearted, let him tend to your wounds.
You are dearly loved.
Grace and Peace,
You make it look so easy. . .words said to me on "Graduation Sunday" this past May at our church.
My friend was encouraging me, but I felt like such a fraud when she said it.
It wasn't/isn't easy.
The exact week before that Sunday my Dear Husband was in the hospital recovering from a heart attack and subsequent stint placement. Healthy, active, non smoking 48 year olds aren't supposed to have heart attacks. In true Wilkinson fashion we proved that not to be true.
A week later, he was home, we were at a graduation banquet for our oldest. Then that Sunday standing in front of the congregation as Cam and his fellow classmates were honored.
We had moved into our new home the week before as well. . .in fact, the day before the heart attack.
Chaos would best describe how we were functioning.
We hadn't realized that we were supposed to leave our washer and dryer at our old house, so that very Sunday morning as we were heading out the door to get to church, the movers showed up.
Our graduate was also a nervous wreck and was spending entirely to much time getting his hair 'just so'.
Hubby set out to church with our two youngest, while the graduate and I followed.
I'm pretty sure I screeched into the parking lot on two wheels.
We hopped out and are running across the parking lot, when my shoe slipped off. . .like a good soldier I yelled "just go on without me". . . of course, they all waited for me.
We slipped into the pew next to our dear friends during the second song, when I whispered to her 'did we miss it'. . .no, she replied you're good.
We took a couple deep breaths to calm down and settle in, and tried to pass that along to our graduate who at his core, doesn't like to be in front of crowds, doesn't do well in chaos and almost lost his dad the week before.
We made it through the service, even though unbeknownst to me the heart patient had to lean against the stage to hold himself up.
At the end of the ceremony, my friend leaned down to me and said those words that have haunted me these past few months, "you make it look so easy".
These last three months have been anything but easy.
If I listed everything here that has gone wrong or been difficult, you wouldn't believe me.
In some ways it's almost comical. Seriously, if it can wrong, more than likely in these past three months it has. Including this morning, when for the 3rd time in 2 weeks our power went out.
I would be a total and complete fraud though if I said it's been easy.
There hasn't been one easy thing about it.
There have however been blessings along the way.
Friends who've walked beside us and stepped up and helped us. Watching our sweet boy walk across the stage and get his diploma.
A family vacation that was so special and meaningful to the five of us.
Baseball games. Long walks, Long talks. Road trips with friends. Exploring our favorite places in the city.
Blessings in the chaos for sure and for certain. Knowing God was/is right here with us. . .gives us the strength to endure, but do not for a minute think it's been easy.
Why do I want you to know that? Because, I think, sometimes as Jesus Followers we screw our halo on so tight and grin our way through the pain-as if it doesn't hurt at all; we throw around Scripture and quote it out of context or to apply as bandaids to gaping wounds. . . it can make others going through their own valley either shrug us off as frauds or leave them feeling like losers because they are having a hard time coping.
{ Please don't miss understand. . .Scripture is an extreme comfort. . but saying "All things work together for good" to someone in a pit of despair isn't always the most helpful or edifying thing you can do}
So, if I've made it look easy, I'm sorry.
The reality is, I'm tired and weary and worn. I'm certain I've aged 5 years in the past 3 months.
There's been nothing easy about it.
But, I will also tell you that Jesus is very very near. Even when I'm mean as a hornet or desperate as a Housewife. He's never left. When I've kicked and screamed like a toddler who's missed nap time, He's never let go. And He will never let go of you either.
Life is hard. And Oh so short. There's not one easy thing about it.
It may not be easy, and my strength is pretty much gone.
Jesus though. . .He is easy. He is trustworthy. He is strong so I don't have to be. He is faithful when
mine is fraying.
Wherever you are and whatever valley you're walking through, trust Him-He's right there with you.
He is what makes walking through it look easy-even when it's the hardest thing you've done.
My friend was encouraging me, but I felt like such a fraud when she said it.
It wasn't/isn't easy.
The exact week before that Sunday my Dear Husband was in the hospital recovering from a heart attack and subsequent stint placement. Healthy, active, non smoking 48 year olds aren't supposed to have heart attacks. In true Wilkinson fashion we proved that not to be true.
A week later, he was home, we were at a graduation banquet for our oldest. Then that Sunday standing in front of the congregation as Cam and his fellow classmates were honored.
We had moved into our new home the week before as well. . .in fact, the day before the heart attack.
Chaos would best describe how we were functioning.
We hadn't realized that we were supposed to leave our washer and dryer at our old house, so that very Sunday morning as we were heading out the door to get to church, the movers showed up.
Our graduate was also a nervous wreck and was spending entirely to much time getting his hair 'just so'.
Hubby set out to church with our two youngest, while the graduate and I followed.
I'm pretty sure I screeched into the parking lot on two wheels.
We hopped out and are running across the parking lot, when my shoe slipped off. . .like a good soldier I yelled "just go on without me". . . of course, they all waited for me.
We slipped into the pew next to our dear friends during the second song, when I whispered to her 'did we miss it'. . .no, she replied you're good.
We took a couple deep breaths to calm down and settle in, and tried to pass that along to our graduate who at his core, doesn't like to be in front of crowds, doesn't do well in chaos and almost lost his dad the week before.
We made it through the service, even though unbeknownst to me the heart patient had to lean against the stage to hold himself up.
At the end of the ceremony, my friend leaned down to me and said those words that have haunted me these past few months, "you make it look so easy".
These last three months have been anything but easy.
If I listed everything here that has gone wrong or been difficult, you wouldn't believe me.
In some ways it's almost comical. Seriously, if it can wrong, more than likely in these past three months it has. Including this morning, when for the 3rd time in 2 weeks our power went out.
I would be a total and complete fraud though if I said it's been easy.
There hasn't been one easy thing about it.
There have however been blessings along the way.
Friends who've walked beside us and stepped up and helped us. Watching our sweet boy walk across the stage and get his diploma.
A family vacation that was so special and meaningful to the five of us.
Baseball games. Long walks, Long talks. Road trips with friends. Exploring our favorite places in the city.
Blessings in the chaos for sure and for certain. Knowing God was/is right here with us. . .gives us the strength to endure, but do not for a minute think it's been easy.
Why do I want you to know that? Because, I think, sometimes as Jesus Followers we screw our halo on so tight and grin our way through the pain-as if it doesn't hurt at all; we throw around Scripture and quote it out of context or to apply as bandaids to gaping wounds. . . it can make others going through their own valley either shrug us off as frauds or leave them feeling like losers because they are having a hard time coping.
{ Please don't miss understand. . .Scripture is an extreme comfort. . but saying "All things work together for good" to someone in a pit of despair isn't always the most helpful or edifying thing you can do}
So, if I've made it look easy, I'm sorry.
The reality is, I'm tired and weary and worn. I'm certain I've aged 5 years in the past 3 months.
There's been nothing easy about it.
But, I will also tell you that Jesus is very very near. Even when I'm mean as a hornet or desperate as a Housewife. He's never left. When I've kicked and screamed like a toddler who's missed nap time, He's never let go. And He will never let go of you either.
Life is hard. And Oh so short. There's not one easy thing about it.
It may not be easy, and my strength is pretty much gone.
Jesus though. . .He is easy. He is trustworthy. He is strong so I don't have to be. He is faithful when
mine is fraying.
Wherever you are and whatever valley you're walking through, trust Him-He's right there with you.
He is what makes walking through it look easy-even when it's the hardest thing you've done.
This past Thursday my best friend and I took our daughters (14,10 respectively) to the opening of Beauty and the Beast.
Because of remarks the director had stated regarding the character, Lefou and his sexuality, many
Christians were/are calling for a boycott.
As, a family we made the choice not to participate and address any issues head on that might arise.
After all, we make this decision about every movie we see. We are diligent to check pluggedin.com
and other on line resources, to help us make our decision, and because of the information we receive
there, we either pass, or take the opportunity to talk with the kids about whatever issues might have
cause for concern in each particular movie.
But, this time, frankly the whole thing felt contrived from both sides.
Let's be real, there's nothing a branch of Christianity loves more than a boycott.
I went in with my mom radar on high alert. Waiting for 'the scene' I would need to talk through
later with my daughter. What I got instead was a beautiful, lovely movie. There were no
'gay scenes'. Nothing you would have to explain.
Lefou is still the sidekick of Gaston who gushes and preens over him. . .just like in the original
Disney version. I always thought he was playing to type of a stereotypical gay man in the original
but, I'm pretty sure that's just a stereotypical French man.
Lefou talks to Gaston about his relationship with women. At one point during the Gaston song,
they embrace and Lefou says "that's too much isn't it" and they both agree.
When Gaston leads the raid with the townspeople to the castle and the fight ensues, the wardrobe
attacks three men, wrapping them in ribbons and gowns and wigs of the time period, two run away
one briefly looks into the camera and smiles. ( It remind me of the Bugs Bunny cartoons when he
would dress in drag-although Bugs always seemed to be much more sexualized than this even
remotely was.)
Spoiler Alert:
At the end when the spell is broken and they've all returned to their human form, there is a beautiful
dance scene (think harpsichord and very old fashioned waltzing) where everyone is moving and
twirling and exchanging partners, and one spin of the partner change meets Lefou with the man
from the wardrobe scene (dressed in the fashion for a man of the time) and nothing. . .no wink
at the camera, just the end.
Our theater cheered and clapped at the end. My Belle already has a date with her daddy to see it
again.
We (on the Christian right) CLAMOR for Hollywood to make family films then we when hear
something said to, let's be honest, illicit a reaction from us, we fall right into the trap.
Without seeing it for ourselves, we dig our heels in and shout boycott from our highest hilltops.
And the world is watching.
I do believe there is a case to be made for not letting an agenda be forced upon our children and our
society. But, this isn't the movie on which to base that argument.
Be my guest and go see this lovely movie.
Save your righteous indignation for another day. I'm sure there will be a true battle to be had, but
we will have used all our credibility up on nonsense fights like this one.
Have some popcorn and sing a long for me.
Bonjour !
Because of remarks the director had stated regarding the character, Lefou and his sexuality, many
Christians were/are calling for a boycott.
As, a family we made the choice not to participate and address any issues head on that might arise.
After all, we make this decision about every movie we see. We are diligent to check pluggedin.com
and other on line resources, to help us make our decision, and because of the information we receive
there, we either pass, or take the opportunity to talk with the kids about whatever issues might have
cause for concern in each particular movie.
But, this time, frankly the whole thing felt contrived from both sides.
Let's be real, there's nothing a branch of Christianity loves more than a boycott.
I went in with my mom radar on high alert. Waiting for 'the scene' I would need to talk through
later with my daughter. What I got instead was a beautiful, lovely movie. There were no
'gay scenes'. Nothing you would have to explain.
Lefou is still the sidekick of Gaston who gushes and preens over him. . .just like in the original
Disney version. I always thought he was playing to type of a stereotypical gay man in the original
but, I'm pretty sure that's just a stereotypical French man.
Lefou talks to Gaston about his relationship with women. At one point during the Gaston song,
they embrace and Lefou says "that's too much isn't it" and they both agree.
When Gaston leads the raid with the townspeople to the castle and the fight ensues, the wardrobe
attacks three men, wrapping them in ribbons and gowns and wigs of the time period, two run away
one briefly looks into the camera and smiles. ( It remind me of the Bugs Bunny cartoons when he
would dress in drag-although Bugs always seemed to be much more sexualized than this even
remotely was.)
Spoiler Alert:
At the end when the spell is broken and they've all returned to their human form, there is a beautiful
dance scene (think harpsichord and very old fashioned waltzing) where everyone is moving and
twirling and exchanging partners, and one spin of the partner change meets Lefou with the man
from the wardrobe scene (dressed in the fashion for a man of the time) and nothing. . .no wink
at the camera, just the end.
Our theater cheered and clapped at the end. My Belle already has a date with her daddy to see it
again.
We (on the Christian right) CLAMOR for Hollywood to make family films then we when hear
something said to, let's be honest, illicit a reaction from us, we fall right into the trap.
Without seeing it for ourselves, we dig our heels in and shout boycott from our highest hilltops.
And the world is watching.
I do believe there is a case to be made for not letting an agenda be forced upon our children and our
society. But, this isn't the movie on which to base that argument.
Be my guest and go see this lovely movie.
Save your righteous indignation for another day. I'm sure there will be a true battle to be had, but
we will have used all our credibility up on nonsense fights like this one.
Have some popcorn and sing a long for me.
Bonjour !
I've been the head of our Women's Ministry Team at our local church for four years now.
Which is a sentence I never would have thought I would write even 10 years ago.
{God seems to delight so much in using the most unqualified and weakest choices to accomplish what He desires for His kingdom. I am convinced it is so that He will receive all the glory.}
Women's Ministry just wasn't something I thought I needed or where I thought I'd fit in.
I grew up with a very detailed notion or expectation of what a woman was to be and NOT be, and
more often than not I found myself on the outside looking in. But, also what I saw I just didn't see
a need for in my life.
I had (Have) dear friends, I wasn't (still am not) crafty, I am neither demure or quiet. . .things I
thought you must be to be a godly woman.
And also, there's a not so very secret marker among women, yes even Christian women. . .we can
be downright mean. Caddy. Viscous. { I am blessed to serve with women who genuinely love
and care for each other and have a deep acceptance for the personalities God has blessed each of
us with. But I have seen first hand that this is not the case in many many churches.}
It has become quite common to openly mock women's ministry or make blanket statements
like "I just don't like women".
I recently posted a survey on facebook, made up of a few brief questions concerning women's
ministry.
So far, I have received over 200 hundred responses. Some findings surprised me and some didn't.
Here are the most popular and my response to them.
_________________________________________________________________
We are a busy culture and for women probably even more so. (True...However, we let our business
excuse our lack of participation. Church life just isn't a priority...especially if we have children. Our children have become idols. And we've come to believe they just cannot function without us for even one night and if we miss one event of theirs we've somehow scarred them for life. Same can be said for marriages.
Can I tell you a secret? You'll be a better wife/momma if you LEAVE them sometimes. Of course, I'm not talking about every night of the week. But once every few months. . .I promise it'll be ok. And you'll all be better for it.)
We don't care about organizing and cupcake decorating as much as some would have us believe. (A to the Men. Women's Ministry needs to be a place for encouragement and deep biblical thought. The world is hurting and we have the answer. And it isn't found in cupcake decorating, scrapbooking ect. I would suggest finding a church that takes women and their spiritual needs seriously. Maybe YOU could be the change agent in your church?! How awesome would that be?? )
We are introverts. ( We use this to get out of a lot of things actually. It's a built in excuse. We let our fear dictate what we will and won't do. And before I get lots of hate mail. I get it. I do. I AM YOU. But, don't let fear count you out ! Deep breaths and you can do it.)
We don't seem to fit the target audience. ( what was interesting about this is all the different types of people who said this. Single. Young. Old. Married w/o kids. Married with littles. Middle Aged. We need to do a better job of making sure when we say Women's Ministry we don't mean 'married with kids' or a certain age range. Again, maybe it's YOU that can help be that change agent in your church.)
We've been hurt. ( Yep. This is a biggie with no easy answer. It stinks to be hurt and can take so much time to get over. I've been there. But, here's the thing: if we stop contributing/ participating in things that have hurt us, we're going to be very very lonely. We've got to get up, dust ourselves off, wipe away our tears and move on. )
I don't like women. (Whoa Sister, let's think about that for a minute. I mean I know what you're saying. And I know you're trying to say it in a funny way. But, I also know you're serious and what you're also saying without really saying it is that you don't fit in.
But, what you're also saying is you don't care enough about your Sisters in Christ to get to know them. To study the Word with them. To pray with them. To love them. Half of The Church, you're saying you don't like. That's not ok. You're going to have to work on that. I know it's hard. I know you don't want to. But when you say "I don't like women". You're saying you don't like yourself. Pray about it. Ask God to change your heart. Ask Him to grow you. You may just find it shocking what He can and will do in you and through you. . .I know I did.)
I also asked, "If offered would you participate in a mentoring program".
The response was a resounding 96% YES.
I was a bit surprised by how overwhelming that result was. I mean especially considering most do not participate, even if offered, in a church women's ministry.
Oh how we are thirsty for community. We are hungry for someone to show us the way or at least cheer us on. We have got to have our older ladies (age/and spiritual walk) step up instead of checking out. We've got to make sure no one ever feels like 'their time is over' or that they have nothing of value to add.
Our tables need to be filled with 20 somethings, Middle Agers and Seniors. We all have something to gain from each other. Every single one has something to contribute.
Do not get locked into age categories. If you're younger, find yourself a women you admire who is both farther along in age and in her walk with Jesus than you. If you're older, don't think we don't need you or don't want to hear what you have to say. We are CRAVING to hear you. Find a young momma and take her under your wing. Find that single lady who needs to know she's valuable in the church too, find that hard working women who's got so many plates spinning she's wearing herself out. We might not even know that is what we are missing until we hear you.
___________________________________________________________
Most of us would never question the need for children's ministry or youth ministry in our churches yet when it comes to women's ministry we do.
Women's Ministry is -or should be- a vital part of any church. Not a party planning committee, but women who need each other and want to grow in the grace and knowledge of Jesus. And not so they can sit and sour but so that they can shine for the world around them so when someone asks them why or how they are able to do so in a difficult and weary world, they can point them straight to Jesus.
__________________________________________________________________
I love women and am thrilled and humbled to serve them. Women's Ministry can and should be a beautiful thing.
Your church needs you. They need you to show up. To serve. To be kind. To grow in the grace and knowledge of Jesus.
You can do it. I know you might be scarred, but I also know you won't be the only one.
Let's learn together and love each other well.
Grace and Peace,
Which is a sentence I never would have thought I would write even 10 years ago.
{God seems to delight so much in using the most unqualified and weakest choices to accomplish what He desires for His kingdom. I am convinced it is so that He will receive all the glory.}
Women's Ministry just wasn't something I thought I needed or where I thought I'd fit in.
I grew up with a very detailed notion or expectation of what a woman was to be and NOT be, and
more often than not I found myself on the outside looking in. But, also what I saw I just didn't see
a need for in my life.
I had (Have) dear friends, I wasn't (still am not) crafty, I am neither demure or quiet. . .things I
thought you must be to be a godly woman.
And also, there's a not so very secret marker among women, yes even Christian women. . .we can
be downright mean. Caddy. Viscous. { I am blessed to serve with women who genuinely love
and care for each other and have a deep acceptance for the personalities God has blessed each of
us with. But I have seen first hand that this is not the case in many many churches.}
It has become quite common to openly mock women's ministry or make blanket statements
like "I just don't like women".
I recently posted a survey on facebook, made up of a few brief questions concerning women's
ministry.
So far, I have received over 200 hundred responses. Some findings surprised me and some didn't.
Here are the most popular and my response to them.
_________________________________________________________________
We are a busy culture and for women probably even more so. (True...However, we let our business
excuse our lack of participation. Church life just isn't a priority...especially if we have children. Our children have become idols. And we've come to believe they just cannot function without us for even one night and if we miss one event of theirs we've somehow scarred them for life. Same can be said for marriages.
Can I tell you a secret? You'll be a better wife/momma if you LEAVE them sometimes. Of course, I'm not talking about every night of the week. But once every few months. . .I promise it'll be ok. And you'll all be better for it.)
We don't care about organizing and cupcake decorating as much as some would have us believe. (A to the Men. Women's Ministry needs to be a place for encouragement and deep biblical thought. The world is hurting and we have the answer. And it isn't found in cupcake decorating, scrapbooking ect. I would suggest finding a church that takes women and their spiritual needs seriously. Maybe YOU could be the change agent in your church?! How awesome would that be?? )
We are introverts. ( We use this to get out of a lot of things actually. It's a built in excuse. We let our fear dictate what we will and won't do. And before I get lots of hate mail. I get it. I do. I AM YOU. But, don't let fear count you out ! Deep breaths and you can do it.)
We don't seem to fit the target audience. ( what was interesting about this is all the different types of people who said this. Single. Young. Old. Married w/o kids. Married with littles. Middle Aged. We need to do a better job of making sure when we say Women's Ministry we don't mean 'married with kids' or a certain age range. Again, maybe it's YOU that can help be that change agent in your church.)
We've been hurt. ( Yep. This is a biggie with no easy answer. It stinks to be hurt and can take so much time to get over. I've been there. But, here's the thing: if we stop contributing/ participating in things that have hurt us, we're going to be very very lonely. We've got to get up, dust ourselves off, wipe away our tears and move on. )
I don't like women. (Whoa Sister, let's think about that for a minute. I mean I know what you're saying. And I know you're trying to say it in a funny way. But, I also know you're serious and what you're also saying without really saying it is that you don't fit in.
But, what you're also saying is you don't care enough about your Sisters in Christ to get to know them. To study the Word with them. To pray with them. To love them. Half of The Church, you're saying you don't like. That's not ok. You're going to have to work on that. I know it's hard. I know you don't want to. But when you say "I don't like women". You're saying you don't like yourself. Pray about it. Ask God to change your heart. Ask Him to grow you. You may just find it shocking what He can and will do in you and through you. . .I know I did.)
I also asked, "If offered would you participate in a mentoring program".
The response was a resounding 96% YES.
I was a bit surprised by how overwhelming that result was. I mean especially considering most do not participate, even if offered, in a church women's ministry.
Oh how we are thirsty for community. We are hungry for someone to show us the way or at least cheer us on. We have got to have our older ladies (age/and spiritual walk) step up instead of checking out. We've got to make sure no one ever feels like 'their time is over' or that they have nothing of value to add.
Our tables need to be filled with 20 somethings, Middle Agers and Seniors. We all have something to gain from each other. Every single one has something to contribute.
Do not get locked into age categories. If you're younger, find yourself a women you admire who is both farther along in age and in her walk with Jesus than you. If you're older, don't think we don't need you or don't want to hear what you have to say. We are CRAVING to hear you. Find a young momma and take her under your wing. Find that single lady who needs to know she's valuable in the church too, find that hard working women who's got so many plates spinning she's wearing herself out. We might not even know that is what we are missing until we hear you.
___________________________________________________________
Most of us would never question the need for children's ministry or youth ministry in our churches yet when it comes to women's ministry we do.
Women's Ministry is -or should be- a vital part of any church. Not a party planning committee, but women who need each other and want to grow in the grace and knowledge of Jesus. And not so they can sit and sour but so that they can shine for the world around them so when someone asks them why or how they are able to do so in a difficult and weary world, they can point them straight to Jesus.
__________________________________________________________________
I love women and am thrilled and humbled to serve them. Women's Ministry can and should be a beautiful thing.
Your church needs you. They need you to show up. To serve. To be kind. To grow in the grace and knowledge of Jesus.
You can do it. I know you might be scarred, but I also know you won't be the only one.
Let's learn together and love each other well.
Grace and Peace,
These past two years God has really been teaching me/prodding me to
PRAY BIG and PRAY BOLD.
He has been showing me, how He has invited all of us into conversation with Him, The Creator of the
Universe, and we've reduced to a conversation about food or having a good day.
So, being the mediocre student I am, the lessons have been long and repetitive . . .but like always,
The Teacher is ever patient with this student.
And I am learning, ever so slowly what exactly it means to Pray Big and Pray Bold.
_______________________
Walking for exercise is a HUGE part of my routine. I get a few miles in at least 6x's a week.
It's an absolute must for me.
But, the other night, Hubby and I had been running errands long past when we thought we'd be done
and I got a late start. Knowing my typical miles would get me far away from the house well into the
dark night, I changed my normal path and stuck close to home finishing up my miles doing laps in the
parking lot of the school that is right behind our house.
The school where we had at least one child enrolled for the past 12 years. The school where I was an
employee for the last 5 years.
The school we left with 26 days left in the school year last year. (You can read about that here. http://lessonsfromaisle12.blogspot.com/2016/04/26-days.html)
As I found my self walking around the parking lot at 9:30 at night, I felt the Lord telling me to pray
for the school.
No. I don't want to.
Angie, pray for the school.
A few more steps. . .Fine I'll pray.
I pray that they would feel awful for what happened to my son and how they let grown adults gossip
and spread lies.
ANGIE. YOU KNOW HOW TO PRAY.
YOU PRAY BIG AND BOLD FOR THEM.
So. . .I did. I prayed for the children of the school to thrive. For teachers to be kind and nurturing to
those who need it the most.
I prayed for financial stability.
As I passed the ball fields, I prayed for success on the field for the teams.
Then I prayed for the Administration.
I prayed they would have discernment. I prayed for their families. That their children would
succeed and grow and thrive. I prayed they would be good fathers and husbands. That they
would be appreciated.
I prayed for their forgiveness for hurting our family.
I'm not saying it was easy. I am not saying I'm some sort of Spiritual Giant for doing so.
I am saying God is so good.
What began as reluctant prayers ended with a fresh sense of peace and forgiveness over the
whole entire situation. I can honestly say, at the end I meant the words I was praying.
Isn't that how God works?
Takes the things that hurt us the most. . .and as any mom can tell you, hurt my babies. . . you hurt me. . .
and He uses them to bring us closer to Him.
Praying Big and Boldly for those who hurt us the most was very humbling.
Yet, when doing just that I saw a brief glimpse of the cross and how Jesus was broken for those
who hurt Him the most.
As I am learning day by day, to pray BIG and BOLD, I am also learning that I gain so much
more than anything I might think I'm giving up by doing so.
_______________________
So, yes, I still thank the Lord for my food, and good day would be nice . . .but I refuse to let
my conversation with my Creator, Sustainer, Savior to be only about those things.
And if you chose to join this journey with me of praying BIG and BOLD, be warned.
Those prayers aren't always easy. You don't always get to pray for what you want or even
who you want.
But, I do promise you this: Your mind and heart will change and you will be AMAZED at what
God can do, if you only ask.
__________________________
Each and everyone of us have been invited into prayer with the Lord.
Let's do it.
Let's learn to pray.
And when we do. . .let's pray
BIG and BOLD.
Praying with you and for you,
PRAY BIG and PRAY BOLD.
He has been showing me, how He has invited all of us into conversation with Him, The Creator of the
Universe, and we've reduced to a conversation about food or having a good day.
So, being the mediocre student I am, the lessons have been long and repetitive . . .but like always,
The Teacher is ever patient with this student.
And I am learning, ever so slowly what exactly it means to Pray Big and Pray Bold.
_______________________
Walking for exercise is a HUGE part of my routine. I get a few miles in at least 6x's a week.
It's an absolute must for me.
But, the other night, Hubby and I had been running errands long past when we thought we'd be done
and I got a late start. Knowing my typical miles would get me far away from the house well into the
dark night, I changed my normal path and stuck close to home finishing up my miles doing laps in the
parking lot of the school that is right behind our house.
The school where we had at least one child enrolled for the past 12 years. The school where I was an
employee for the last 5 years.
The school we left with 26 days left in the school year last year. (You can read about that here. http://lessonsfromaisle12.blogspot.com/2016/04/26-days.html)
As I found my self walking around the parking lot at 9:30 at night, I felt the Lord telling me to pray
for the school.
No. I don't want to.
Angie, pray for the school.
A few more steps. . .Fine I'll pray.
I pray that they would feel awful for what happened to my son and how they let grown adults gossip
and spread lies.
ANGIE. YOU KNOW HOW TO PRAY.
YOU PRAY BIG AND BOLD FOR THEM.
So. . .I did. I prayed for the children of the school to thrive. For teachers to be kind and nurturing to
those who need it the most.
I prayed for financial stability.
As I passed the ball fields, I prayed for success on the field for the teams.
Then I prayed for the Administration.
I prayed they would have discernment. I prayed for their families. That their children would
succeed and grow and thrive. I prayed they would be good fathers and husbands. That they
would be appreciated.
I prayed for their forgiveness for hurting our family.
I'm not saying it was easy. I am not saying I'm some sort of Spiritual Giant for doing so.
I am saying God is so good.
What began as reluctant prayers ended with a fresh sense of peace and forgiveness over the
whole entire situation. I can honestly say, at the end I meant the words I was praying.
Isn't that how God works?
Takes the things that hurt us the most. . .and as any mom can tell you, hurt my babies. . . you hurt me. . .
and He uses them to bring us closer to Him.
Praying Big and Boldly for those who hurt us the most was very humbling.
Yet, when doing just that I saw a brief glimpse of the cross and how Jesus was broken for those
who hurt Him the most.
As I am learning day by day, to pray BIG and BOLD, I am also learning that I gain so much
more than anything I might think I'm giving up by doing so.
_______________________
So, yes, I still thank the Lord for my food, and good day would be nice . . .but I refuse to let
my conversation with my Creator, Sustainer, Savior to be only about those things.
And if you chose to join this journey with me of praying BIG and BOLD, be warned.
Those prayers aren't always easy. You don't always get to pray for what you want or even
who you want.
But, I do promise you this: Your mind and heart will change and you will be AMAZED at what
God can do, if you only ask.
__________________________
Each and everyone of us have been invited into prayer with the Lord.
Let's do it.
Let's learn to pray.
And when we do. . .let's pray
BIG and BOLD.
Praying with you and for you,
Every morning when I'm checking out my social media sites, I also check my Time Hop app.
I sometimes tease that Time Hop is being mean when it shows me a picture of one of my little
Monkey's from when they were little.
But, today it reminded me of two significant event in our oldest son's life.
One of from four years ago, when our extremely asthmatic son contracted Whooping Cough.
He earned himself a 911 call and an extended hospital stay.
I believe there are few things as scary in this world as watching your child gasp for air and turning
blue and fainting because they can't get any into their lungs.
Then two years ago Cam had to have surgery on both his eyes to correct some double vision and other issues he was having.
Yes, that's as painful as it sounds.
This is our same son who had heart surgery in Kindergarten. . .who'd basically been dealing with
some type of sickness or another since he was 2 months old.
But, you know what? This is also our same son who is shy but has a wicked sense of humor, who is
kind and adventurous, who has an amazing head of hair, who loves his grandparents deeply, who is
smart and well read and deep thinker and who loves Jesus and has a deeper sense of theology then I
ever did at his age.
The things he has been through and his unique personality have given him trials to go through, but
they have also given him (and us) a front row seat to God's amazing grace and power.
How incredible is that? I wouldn't trade that for him for all the high school football stars in the
world.
 |
| heading out to his first day at his summer job |
 |
| deep in thought |
 |
| after finishing his first 5K Color Run at his high school |
In Joshua 4 it tells the story of the Israelites crossing the Jordan River and God's command to take up
a stone, so they could use it to remember. Remember what God had brought them through and then
tell all He had done to their children and their children's children.
Today, we will sit as a family and remember and give praise and thanksgiving to the Lord for all He
has walked our sweet boy through.
What about you? What do you need to remember today about what the Lord has brought you through
and thank Him for?
Maybe you're still in the middle of your Jordan River and you're not sure you'll get to the other side
safely. I've been there too. Just keep walking the path in front of you. . .He's already gone before you
and made the way. Hold on to that promise, and praise Him right in the middle of where you are.
Blessings,
My poor neglected blog. ..
If you're here reading after my unexpected 2 month break--thank you!
Life is good, and busy.
Messy and imperfect as always.
And well, I wouldn't have it any other way.
I've learned more from the imperfect messes than I ever have from any attempt at unattainable
perfection.
It is such an illusion-perfection-and often the mask of it gets me into more trouble than the
real life mess.
_______________________________________
With that in mind, here's some things I've discovered on this health journey of mine.
Things people either don't know about, or don't talk about.
I have Hashimoto's Thyroid Disease, which is certainly treatable and manageable, but causes
me to need to see my endocrinologist every six months. And for a person who is seriously not
good about going to the doctor-this is a BIG DEAL.
But, since I've began my health journey a year and half ago, it certainly a bit easier.
As of today, I've lost 142 lbs. Yes, I've lost a person. My blood pressure and resting heart
rate are fantastic. I feel good, I can (basically) keep up with the kids and-here's one of the best
parts-no longer sit on the side lines while they are having all the fun. I love being right in the middle
with them.
There are things though that I've learned and am going through that aren't so great.
And, I figure, like everything else in my life, if I'm going through it someone else probably
is too and needs to know that they are not alone.
So here are the top things I've discovered that aren't so great.
1) Skin. Lots of loose, stretched out skin.
When you loose the equivalent of a person, you're going to have some extra skin. It doesn't matter
how many weights you press or how many miles you run. . .you're going to have extra skin. And
you're not going to like it. Also, harder to camouflage in the summer than in the winter.
2) You won't get that you look different for a very long time.
Yes, I often still feel like that 'fat girl' in the room. When trying on clothes, I often first try on a
bigger size than what I actually need, because I don't see myself for who I am now. (I mean come on,
I spent a lot 'o years in the plus size section.) Sometimes, when I look in the mirror I don't recognize
myself and certainly don't always see the now Angie.
3) Losing weight doesn't solve all your problems
Yes, I'm thinner (not skinny) now than I ever have been in my adult life. However, I still got 'stuff'.
Still have stress (for pete sake I have three kids, two of them teenagers, I've got stress) still have
bills, a mortgage, a ministry, a job. Stuff. The same stuff you have.
(The cool part is, I've managed to learn not to 'eat' my stress. Thank you Lord for that good gift)
4) People will treat you differently
Even people you love. Some times it's better. . .which is highly offensive and hurtful. I haven't
experienced much of this with close family and friends (Thank you Lord for that Good Good Gift!)
But, I've certainly experienced it with my interactions with acquaintances and in the general public.
More attention, kinder. . .you know, at my heaviest I never noticed I was being treated differently.
I had just grown accustom to the behavior. Now, that my treatment is different I can totally see
the mistreatment or unkindest from before. It's painful, and maddening to think about, and I
pray I never come so far that I forget.
Sometimes, they treat you worse. There are people in your life that need you to be a certain way.
They need you to stay the same and when you don't, it makes them either angry or uncomfortable.
They will distance themselves from you or write you off altogether. And make no mistake, it hurts.
But, their ability to handle your change, or not handle it, can't and shouldn't detour you and I from
our ultimate goals.
Live to please the Lord. Let him handle the naysayers.
5) It might never be enough.
No matter how much you lose, how strong you become, if that becomes your whole focus, it
will probable never be enough.
Your value, my value, no matter our size, has not ever --is not now --wrapped up in a number on a
scale or the size of our wardrobe.
You and I are enough because Jesus said we are.
_____________________________________
Don't misread me or get me wrong, I've learned more good along this journey. . .much more good
than negative, but I just wanted to share with you 1) so you know you're not alone if you're going
through some of these things or 2) if you know someone who is on a journey like me, you can pray
for them, it's allot-everyday, it's difficult to not let it consume you, to become your identity, to become
prideful one minute or discouraged the next. There are traps all around.
So, pray for your friends, pray for yourself. God is with you and me, every step along the way.
Much much love and support along the journey!
XOXO
I feel like before I wade to deep into this water that I should tell you a little about myself for
full discloser.
I am a born again Christian. I believe Jesus is the only way to Heaven. I believe that the Bible
has clear standards by which we are to live. I believe sin is sin no matter the stripe, but yes
I do believe that homosexuality and others sexual sins-including Transgenderism- are offensive to
God.
Politically, I no longer call myself a Republican but a Conservative and I'm pretty staunch in
those views.
I have worked at Target. I was a sales floor team member for 2 years about 11 years ago. . .and
I LOVED it. I was very good at my job, received a couple of awards and even had a customer
brag on me to the cooperation and I received a letter of appreciation from the president of Target.
_________________________
Bloggers everywhere are chiming in on the controversy surrounding the decision by Target to
announce that people may use which ever restroom they choose by which matches the gender they
are identifying with.
I don't usually like to write posts about things that are blowing up social media and news feeds,
because there are typically much louder voices than mine doing so, or I find others saying what
I would like to say and I feel there's no need for my voice.
But, a few times in my blogging life have been different and this seems like one of them.
________________________
My Conservative Christian brothers and sisters are up in arms.
And I get it. I mean really, it seems like such a silly argument to me. And to most of us, I'm
sure it does. But, then I've never been presenting myself to the world as the opposite gender,
so maybe it causes more angst than I can ever fully know.
Our society is changing and changing quickly. It can cause your head to spin and wonder
what in the world is happening.
_________________________
I have never noticed bathroom police at Target or any where else, and frankly if you're dressed
as a woman and still enter the mens room that seems so much more of a stranger thing to happen.
I know I have shared a restroom with a transgendered person more than once. I did not fear
for my safety. I have however feared for my children (namely my boys) sending them into
the mens restroom when they were little guys and seeing some sketchy looking characters come out
before they did.
With this new policy (although I question whether it's new. I think it's just being stated out loud
for the first time) much of the conversation amongst Christians and Conservatives is about safety.
I get that. I do. But, here's the thing. You had a false sense of safety before, if you thought a
public restroom was safe. Story after story can be told of heterosexual predators and child predators
long before this policy. Does it make it easier for them? I have no idea. But, maybe not, as you
might be more aware of your surroundings now.
________________________
Perhaps you can guess already what I am going to say about the boycott of Target.
I will not be participating.
As an American you have every right to spend your hard earned dollars wherever you see fit.
I absolutely believe that.
But, it seems for Christians this is our go-to. And I suppose it's because we know that's where
we can hurt them, right in their pocketbook.
I'm just left wondering, why are we surprised/scared/confused when a known liberal leaning
company, acts like a liberal leaning company?
Really, how was anyone surprised by or taken off guard by this?
_________________________
I can hear the comments and emails being written now.
About the Bible and what it has to say about sexuality.
About how if we don't take a stand now when will we?
I hear you.
Here is my response.
The need these people have, the need I have and every person has, is Jesus.
Their sin is unbelief, yes manifested in outward ways, but their sin is no worse than mine.
Or yours.
And if we Jesus Followers believe this to be true. . .that all sin and fall short of the glory of God. .
that the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is salvation through Jesus Christ our Lord. . .
then how do we tell them if we're boycotting them?
How do we tell them if we are walking into our local Target store and confronting sales floor
people or store managers (Who have absolutely have no power to change the mandate from
their corporate office and are just trying to earn a paycheck ).
When we are ugly and unkind in one moment then telling about the saving grace of Jesus in the next?
Or are we even doing that? Are we so concerned about our changing society we'd rather focus on
that and how it upsets us, then telling people about Jesus?
We will never win them with a boycott. We can never scream loud or long enough. When we take
on the worlds methods of getting our point across our voice begins to sound the same and gets
downed out.
____________________
So, what's the answer?
I'm just one mom, and there are many many much smarter and wiser than me, but for me, I'll
keep shopping those discounts racks at Target. I will smile and be polite. When there's a chance to
talk about Jesus I will. Talk about Jesus. Not bathrooms.
Jesus can save. Save to the uttermost. Save us all from every pit we're in. The ones we've been
pushed in and the ones we've created ourselves.
Only Jesus.
_____________________
So, do I think you're a horrible person if you boycott Target?
No not necessarily. If you've prayed about it and feel the Holy Spirit leading you in that way then
no.
I would ask that you do it kindly. Respectfully even. Can you imagine that? Disagreeing without
being disagreeable.
And I would say this, don't do it because you're afraid.
Jesus is coming back. He will right every wrong. He will make straight all the crooked places. (no
pun intended)
Yes, our country looks different than it used to.
I say good. . .as hard as that is to swallow. It brings us closer to depending on God instead of
ourselves.
It allows us more opportunities to share the love of Christ.
We've become lazy over the generations, we Western Christians.
It's time we flex our muscles and fight the good fight; down on our knees in prayer, sharing the
gospel even when it's neither convenient or safe, tell the truth about what the Bible says.
But, for me. I'll go shopping.
And if I have to use the restroom while I'm out. . .well it was never my favorite place in Target
anyway. . .have you been in a public bathroom, they're pretty nasty no matter what.
I'll smile at the cashier and I'll tell her Jesus loves her. Because he does. And that might be
the first time they've ever heard that or it might be what they needed to hear that day, and I can't
do it if I'm boycotting.
_____________________
We can do this. . .walk in grace.
Let's do it together.
Much Love,
full discloser.
I am a born again Christian. I believe Jesus is the only way to Heaven. I believe that the Bible
has clear standards by which we are to live. I believe sin is sin no matter the stripe, but yes
I do believe that homosexuality and others sexual sins-including Transgenderism- are offensive to
God.
Politically, I no longer call myself a Republican but a Conservative and I'm pretty staunch in
those views.
I have worked at Target. I was a sales floor team member for 2 years about 11 years ago. . .and
I LOVED it. I was very good at my job, received a couple of awards and even had a customer
brag on me to the cooperation and I received a letter of appreciation from the president of Target.
_________________________
Bloggers everywhere are chiming in on the controversy surrounding the decision by Target to
announce that people may use which ever restroom they choose by which matches the gender they
are identifying with.
I don't usually like to write posts about things that are blowing up social media and news feeds,
because there are typically much louder voices than mine doing so, or I find others saying what
I would like to say and I feel there's no need for my voice.
But, a few times in my blogging life have been different and this seems like one of them.
________________________
My Conservative Christian brothers and sisters are up in arms.
And I get it. I mean really, it seems like such a silly argument to me. And to most of us, I'm
sure it does. But, then I've never been presenting myself to the world as the opposite gender,
so maybe it causes more angst than I can ever fully know.
Our society is changing and changing quickly. It can cause your head to spin and wonder
what in the world is happening.
_________________________
I have never noticed bathroom police at Target or any where else, and frankly if you're dressed
as a woman and still enter the mens room that seems so much more of a stranger thing to happen.
I know I have shared a restroom with a transgendered person more than once. I did not fear
for my safety. I have however feared for my children (namely my boys) sending them into
the mens restroom when they were little guys and seeing some sketchy looking characters come out
before they did.
With this new policy (although I question whether it's new. I think it's just being stated out loud
for the first time) much of the conversation amongst Christians and Conservatives is about safety.
I get that. I do. But, here's the thing. You had a false sense of safety before, if you thought a
public restroom was safe. Story after story can be told of heterosexual predators and child predators
long before this policy. Does it make it easier for them? I have no idea. But, maybe not, as you
might be more aware of your surroundings now.
________________________
Perhaps you can guess already what I am going to say about the boycott of Target.
I will not be participating.
As an American you have every right to spend your hard earned dollars wherever you see fit.
I absolutely believe that.
But, it seems for Christians this is our go-to. And I suppose it's because we know that's where
we can hurt them, right in their pocketbook.
I'm just left wondering, why are we surprised/scared/confused when a known liberal leaning
company, acts like a liberal leaning company?
Really, how was anyone surprised by or taken off guard by this?
_________________________
I can hear the comments and emails being written now.
About the Bible and what it has to say about sexuality.
About how if we don't take a stand now when will we?
I hear you.
Here is my response.
The need these people have, the need I have and every person has, is Jesus.
Their sin is unbelief, yes manifested in outward ways, but their sin is no worse than mine.
Or yours.
And if we Jesus Followers believe this to be true. . .that all sin and fall short of the glory of God. .
that the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is salvation through Jesus Christ our Lord. . .
then how do we tell them if we're boycotting them?
How do we tell them if we are walking into our local Target store and confronting sales floor
people or store managers (Who have absolutely have no power to change the mandate from
their corporate office and are just trying to earn a paycheck ).
When we are ugly and unkind in one moment then telling about the saving grace of Jesus in the next?
Or are we even doing that? Are we so concerned about our changing society we'd rather focus on
that and how it upsets us, then telling people about Jesus?
We will never win them with a boycott. We can never scream loud or long enough. When we take
on the worlds methods of getting our point across our voice begins to sound the same and gets
downed out.
____________________
So, what's the answer?
I'm just one mom, and there are many many much smarter and wiser than me, but for me, I'll
keep shopping those discounts racks at Target. I will smile and be polite. When there's a chance to
talk about Jesus I will. Talk about Jesus. Not bathrooms.
Jesus can save. Save to the uttermost. Save us all from every pit we're in. The ones we've been
pushed in and the ones we've created ourselves.
Only Jesus.
_____________________
So, do I think you're a horrible person if you boycott Target?
No not necessarily. If you've prayed about it and feel the Holy Spirit leading you in that way then
no.
I would ask that you do it kindly. Respectfully even. Can you imagine that? Disagreeing without
being disagreeable.
And I would say this, don't do it because you're afraid.
Jesus is coming back. He will right every wrong. He will make straight all the crooked places. (no
pun intended)
Yes, our country looks different than it used to.
I say good. . .as hard as that is to swallow. It brings us closer to depending on God instead of
ourselves.
It allows us more opportunities to share the love of Christ.
We've become lazy over the generations, we Western Christians.
It's time we flex our muscles and fight the good fight; down on our knees in prayer, sharing the
gospel even when it's neither convenient or safe, tell the truth about what the Bible says.
But, for me. I'll go shopping.
And if I have to use the restroom while I'm out. . .well it was never my favorite place in Target
anyway. . .have you been in a public bathroom, they're pretty nasty no matter what.
I'll smile at the cashier and I'll tell her Jesus loves her. Because he does. And that might be
the first time they've ever heard that or it might be what they needed to hear that day, and I can't
do it if I'm boycotting.
_____________________
We can do this. . .walk in grace.
Let's do it together.
Much Love,
I was frantically running errands on Monday, and landed myself at Aldi.
We were running low on food and it was just no longer an option to put it off.
Although, in my heart I totally wanted to. . .but my families insistence on eating prevented that for
even one more day.
So there I was, list in hand, ready to rock Aldi. After all, I'm no newbie! I know I need a quarter,
I recognize all the labels, I know where the sacks are and that I'll be paying for them-and filling them
up. Yep, I've got this down pat.
The very story I ever wrote as adult was about an adventure in this very store, in the very location I
was at on Monday. You can read that here.
I've shared that story quite a bit as I've had more speaking opportunities, and it came to mind
Monday as I was tossing things in my cart and crossing them off my list. The store was filled with
moms and preschoolers or should I say; frantic, tired, stressed moms and noisy, busy preschoolers.
I tried to hide my smile as I heard them and their dear momma's trying to herd them to the next aisle.
Oh, OH! How I've been there. I remember those days well. Cajoling, bribing, threatening. . . even
yes, even giving in and caving to whatever was being begged for. . .yep
I've done it all.
Listen, I'm no parenting expert and would never claim to be. Heck, we're right in the deep water over
here. How can you be an expert when you haven't seen the finished product yet?
But, I am a momma who's seen a few things and been doing this mom life for more than a few years.
So, hear this my Dear Sweet Momma's out there, the days do get easier.
There will absolutely be a time in your life you can go to the store and no one begs you to buy them
anything. You'll go ALONE (can you even imagine) and you won't worry about germ filled carts,
or keeping littles entertained while you pile two weeks worth of groceries in your cart.
You won't be squeezing an avocado in one hand while holding a squirmy toddler with the other.
No will run down the aisle, colliding with a grandma, while you stand there mortified with the toilet
paper in your hand.
These crazy stress filled moments will pass.
Now, don't get me wrong. They will be filled with other crazy stress filled moments.
Moments involving homework, friends, what's appropriate to wear and what's not, eye rolling and
Don't you talk to me like that Mister! moments.
So, what did I learn in aisle 12 this week??
Don't wish away the baby/toddler/preschool years. Cherish them. Even the hard ones.
Those precious babies grow up so stinkin' fast it'll make your head spin.
Soon you'll be sitting at the dinner table talking about how to pay for college and dating and "Can I
have the car Friday night."
Here's the other thing I learned. I can't wish away these teenage/middle school/I'm almost double
digits mom years either. I can't keep wishing to turn the clock back (or if I'm really honest, speed it
forward. . .teenagers are no joke you guys !)
Spring is springing here in Kansas. A season, a promise. Some days are so beautiful you wish you
could bask in them forever. Some days are dark and gloomy. Some are downright volatile.
But, each and every one of them pass. Nothing stays the same. Summer will soon be here.
Your season, and mine. It'll change. Let's learn to enjoy the one we're in right now, instead of
wishing it away.
Oh Aldi, how you mess with my head when I'm just trying to buy some groceries.
Thank you, Lord for always being willing to teach me where I'm at. . .even the aisle of the grocery
store.
Thank You, for never changing in a world and circumstances that always
do.
Ecclesiastes 3:1 (NKJ) To everything there is a season,
A time for every purpose under heaven:
We were running low on food and it was just no longer an option to put it off.
Although, in my heart I totally wanted to. . .but my families insistence on eating prevented that for
even one more day.
So there I was, list in hand, ready to rock Aldi. After all, I'm no newbie! I know I need a quarter,
I recognize all the labels, I know where the sacks are and that I'll be paying for them-and filling them
up. Yep, I've got this down pat.
The very story I ever wrote as adult was about an adventure in this very store, in the very location I
was at on Monday. You can read that here.
I've shared that story quite a bit as I've had more speaking opportunities, and it came to mind
Monday as I was tossing things in my cart and crossing them off my list. The store was filled with
moms and preschoolers or should I say; frantic, tired, stressed moms and noisy, busy preschoolers.
I tried to hide my smile as I heard them and their dear momma's trying to herd them to the next aisle.
Oh, OH! How I've been there. I remember those days well. Cajoling, bribing, threatening. . . even
yes, even giving in and caving to whatever was being begged for. . .yep
I've done it all.
Listen, I'm no parenting expert and would never claim to be. Heck, we're right in the deep water over
here. How can you be an expert when you haven't seen the finished product yet?
But, I am a momma who's seen a few things and been doing this mom life for more than a few years.
So, hear this my Dear Sweet Momma's out there, the days do get easier.
There will absolutely be a time in your life you can go to the store and no one begs you to buy them
anything. You'll go ALONE (can you even imagine) and you won't worry about germ filled carts,
or keeping littles entertained while you pile two weeks worth of groceries in your cart.
You won't be squeezing an avocado in one hand while holding a squirmy toddler with the other.
No will run down the aisle, colliding with a grandma, while you stand there mortified with the toilet
paper in your hand.
These crazy stress filled moments will pass.
Now, don't get me wrong. They will be filled with other crazy stress filled moments.
Moments involving homework, friends, what's appropriate to wear and what's not, eye rolling and
Don't you talk to me like that Mister! moments.
So, what did I learn in aisle 12 this week??
Don't wish away the baby/toddler/preschool years. Cherish them. Even the hard ones.
Those precious babies grow up so stinkin' fast it'll make your head spin.
Soon you'll be sitting at the dinner table talking about how to pay for college and dating and "Can I
have the car Friday night."
Here's the other thing I learned. I can't wish away these teenage/middle school/I'm almost double
digits mom years either. I can't keep wishing to turn the clock back (or if I'm really honest, speed it
forward. . .teenagers are no joke you guys !)
Spring is springing here in Kansas. A season, a promise. Some days are so beautiful you wish you
could bask in them forever. Some days are dark and gloomy. Some are downright volatile.
But, each and every one of them pass. Nothing stays the same. Summer will soon be here.
Your season, and mine. It'll change. Let's learn to enjoy the one we're in right now, instead of
wishing it away.
Oh Aldi, how you mess with my head when I'm just trying to buy some groceries.
Thank you, Lord for always being willing to teach me where I'm at. . .even the aisle of the grocery
store.
Thank You, for never changing in a world and circumstances that always
do.
Ecclesiastes 3:1 (NKJ) To everything there is a season,
A time for every purpose under heaven:
Help us Lord to embrace the season we're in.
You are loved,
Oh My Stars, I just saw when I last blogged.
That is so sad and a sign of a busy life.
As you can imagine, some things have happened along the way between February 15 and April 18th.
We had a lovely anniversary weekend.
Our Sweet Girl broke her foot during PE.
I've had a couple of speaking opportunities.
Our middle just turned 13 (Another teenager in the house. . .somebody hold me)
Our oldest is on the job hunt.
My Uncle passed away.
And a dream of my Dear Hubby came true when he bought a Harley.
Sister had her piano recital.
Life has happened.
That's a lot of life in a short two months for one little family.
And I bet, if you and I were sitting down to chat you could give me a list just as long as mine.
Some good, some not so good and some just stinkin hard.
Life.
With all this life going on around us and after months of praying, we realized a change in the coming school year was needed for our family.
After 12 years we would not be enrolling in the Christian school my children have attended since preschool and I would not be returning to the job I've had there for the past 5 years.
There are several reasons why it seemed God was leading us in this direction and none of them easy.
It has been a difficult year for our middle child and we have seen him hurt and struggling.
My husband wanted to move him in October then again at Christmas break, but I kept hesitating
thinking it would be best or at least 'fine' to finish out the school year. After all, transitioning
to a new school is challenging and during the school year even more so. That is what I was
saying to justify my hesitation. Which really was just fear, wrapped in a disguise.
Last Wednesday our middle came frantically looking for me after school to tell about a bullying
situation he had just found himself in. He was upset and disheveled.
As we talked through things and notified the school, my husband said let's pull him now.
My reply was "It's only 26 more days".
The next day things got worse and spiraled to a place I had never dreamed.
By Friday morning our two youngest children were enrolled in their new school.
Frankly, we spent much of the weekend walking around wounded and in shock.
But, as the shock began to wear off and I kept thinking about "It's only 26 more days", it was
as if I could hear the Lord whispering into my heart, "but it was 26 days to long. I asked you to obey
a long time ago." And He had. Chance after chance I had to listen to my husbands wise counsel and
that of other trusted friends who knew what we'd been dealing with, but I let fear of the unknown stop
me.
Sometimes 26 days is just to long and God says "IT IS TIME TO GO RIGHT NOW!".
Surely, I can't be the only holding on to something God is telling them to let go of, or to move
on from. Not necessarily even bad things, but it's just not His plan for you right now.
Fear is such a liar. It holds us back... It holds me back. Just when I think I've got it beat, it
rears its ugly, stupid, lying head once again. Oh I was ready to obey, to follow. . .when it
was convient for me. . .when I thought the timing was right. . .which isn't obedience at all, just
fear wrapped up in control.
Some wounds have been inflicted on us by others, either their actions or their gossiping tongues . . .
but some wounds we let be inflicted by staying to long in a place after God said move.
The littles had a great first day. I know they all won't be great, but today was and I am so thankful
for that!
When God says move. It's best to move.
26 days.
I can't wait to see what God does with 26 days.
That is so sad and a sign of a busy life.
As you can imagine, some things have happened along the way between February 15 and April 18th.
We had a lovely anniversary weekend.
Our Sweet Girl broke her foot during PE.
I've had a couple of speaking opportunities.
Our middle just turned 13 (Another teenager in the house. . .somebody hold me)
Our oldest is on the job hunt.
My Uncle passed away.
And a dream of my Dear Hubby came true when he bought a Harley.
Sister had her piano recital.
Life has happened.
That's a lot of life in a short two months for one little family.
And I bet, if you and I were sitting down to chat you could give me a list just as long as mine.
Some good, some not so good and some just stinkin hard.
Life.
With all this life going on around us and after months of praying, we realized a change in the coming school year was needed for our family.
After 12 years we would not be enrolling in the Christian school my children have attended since preschool and I would not be returning to the job I've had there for the past 5 years.
There are several reasons why it seemed God was leading us in this direction and none of them easy.
It has been a difficult year for our middle child and we have seen him hurt and struggling.
My husband wanted to move him in October then again at Christmas break, but I kept hesitating
thinking it would be best or at least 'fine' to finish out the school year. After all, transitioning
to a new school is challenging and during the school year even more so. That is what I was
saying to justify my hesitation. Which really was just fear, wrapped in a disguise.
Last Wednesday our middle came frantically looking for me after school to tell about a bullying
situation he had just found himself in. He was upset and disheveled.
As we talked through things and notified the school, my husband said let's pull him now.
My reply was "It's only 26 more days".
The next day things got worse and spiraled to a place I had never dreamed.
By Friday morning our two youngest children were enrolled in their new school.
Frankly, we spent much of the weekend walking around wounded and in shock.
But, as the shock began to wear off and I kept thinking about "It's only 26 more days", it was
as if I could hear the Lord whispering into my heart, "but it was 26 days to long. I asked you to obey
a long time ago." And He had. Chance after chance I had to listen to my husbands wise counsel and
that of other trusted friends who knew what we'd been dealing with, but I let fear of the unknown stop
me.
Sometimes 26 days is just to long and God says "IT IS TIME TO GO RIGHT NOW!".
Surely, I can't be the only holding on to something God is telling them to let go of, or to move
on from. Not necessarily even bad things, but it's just not His plan for you right now.
Fear is such a liar. It holds us back... It holds me back. Just when I think I've got it beat, it
rears its ugly, stupid, lying head once again. Oh I was ready to obey, to follow. . .when it
was convient for me. . .when I thought the timing was right. . .which isn't obedience at all, just
fear wrapped up in control.
Some wounds have been inflicted on us by others, either their actions or their gossiping tongues . . .
but some wounds we let be inflicted by staying to long in a place after God said move.
The littles had a great first day. I know they all won't be great, but today was and I am so thankful
for that!
When God says move. It's best to move.
26 days.
I can't wait to see what God does with 26 days.
Today my sweet husband and I are celebrating our 24th wedding anniversary.
All the while contemplating the major question. . .how the heck did we get old enough to be married
for this long?? (Seriously. It was supposed to take much longer than it has.)
We were young and naive and didn't know much.
The only thing we knew is we loved Jesus and each other. And that we were pretty sure that
was enough.
I've learned some lessons along the way, some the easy way, but most the hard, so I thought I'd pass them along so maybe you don't have to learn them the hard way like me.
_____________________________________________
1) Forgiveness. You will be doing and asking for it more than you dreamed.
And when you say you forgive, you've really got to do it. Don't keep them dangling on the hook-twisting, wondering if 'this' was the time they'd really be forgiven.
2) Be a grace giver. Everyone wants to receive grace yet so few want to give it.
You're going to get hurt and it may be hard to move past. Let the grace you've been so freely given flow out of you. It will heal you both.
3) Be kind. Yep, that's it. You gotta be nice to each other--even when you're tired and cranky.
3) Laugh. Oh my goodness, life is so stinking hard, you've got to laugh when you can and maybe even when you feel like you can't. Laugh together and often.
4) Have fun (see previous point) Life is hard, find or make the fun as often as you can. And don't ever take it for granted.
5) Little things are really big things.
Folding the towels the correct way, toilet paper replaced on the roll, fill up the car with gas, surprise them with their favorite drink. Little things add up to really big things.
6) Sex. Have it. Lots of it. Have it when you don't always feel like it at first.
It's a gift, enjoy it.
7) The time to let go, isn't in the middle of the storm.
Let's be real. Storms are going to come. Some of them much stronger than others. And let me tell you that if you think we haven't been through some 'stuff' in our 24 years, you'd be Oh So Wrong.
BUT, we've held on. Even when it was hard. Even when we didn't like each other very much.
Because, here's the thing about storms. . .they eventually end. And, typically when they do, they
leave a beautiful rainbow or some refreshed earth. Now, doesn't mean you won't have to clean up some storm damage, but there will be beauty that comes from the storms.
Hunker down and ride it out, it will pass.
Some storms life gives you, others you create for yourself, either way-hold on and don't let go.
8) Allow the other person to grow and change.
I was asked the other day, if Jerry was different from when we were first married.
My reply, "I sure hope so. I hope we both are."
I would hate to think we are still our 20/23 year old selves. Wouldn't that just be a shame if we were?
You're going to change, you're going to grow. That's ok, actually that is great! What a gift to get a front row seat to someone else's life and growth. Be thankful for it.
9) Do not bad mouth each other to other people.
Seriously. Not to your mom, your best friend. Not on Facebook or any where else. That has never once made a person better.
(I'm not talking about needing help. If you need it-FIND IT. Your pastor, a counselor, therapist . . .Go right now.)
10) Love Jesus.
Love him more than each other. Serve him, follow him.
Loving Jesus first has the miraculous ability to help you love others more, even when they aren't worthy, even when they are unloveable.
We aren't perfect and will never claim to be. Our marriage has been one wild ride, complete with drops and twists and sudden jolts and yes a few times even waiting to get the heck off.
We were so young, naive and in some ways foolish, in fact, I had a 'friend' come up to me at our church at the time and look me straight in the face and say 'You know it will never last don't you?'.
You can imagine how that left me feeling.
But, here we are, two older, wiser (?) people still hand in hand.
Nope, not perfect, there have been many slammed doors and silent nights, but there has been more laughter and happy tears than I ever dreamed possible, and I've seen Jesus more through our wild ride than I ever imagined I would.
All the while contemplating the major question. . .how the heck did we get old enough to be married
for this long?? (Seriously. It was supposed to take much longer than it has.)
We were young and naive and didn't know much.
The only thing we knew is we loved Jesus and each other. And that we were pretty sure that
was enough.
I've learned some lessons along the way, some the easy way, but most the hard, so I thought I'd pass them along so maybe you don't have to learn them the hard way like me.
_____________________________________________
1) Forgiveness. You will be doing and asking for it more than you dreamed.
And when you say you forgive, you've really got to do it. Don't keep them dangling on the hook-twisting, wondering if 'this' was the time they'd really be forgiven.
2) Be a grace giver. Everyone wants to receive grace yet so few want to give it.
You're going to get hurt and it may be hard to move past. Let the grace you've been so freely given flow out of you. It will heal you both.
3) Be kind. Yep, that's it. You gotta be nice to each other--even when you're tired and cranky.
3) Laugh. Oh my goodness, life is so stinking hard, you've got to laugh when you can and maybe even when you feel like you can't. Laugh together and often.
4) Have fun (see previous point) Life is hard, find or make the fun as often as you can. And don't ever take it for granted.
5) Little things are really big things.
Folding the towels the correct way, toilet paper replaced on the roll, fill up the car with gas, surprise them with their favorite drink. Little things add up to really big things.
6) Sex. Have it. Lots of it. Have it when you don't always feel like it at first.
It's a gift, enjoy it.
7) The time to let go, isn't in the middle of the storm.
Let's be real. Storms are going to come. Some of them much stronger than others. And let me tell you that if you think we haven't been through some 'stuff' in our 24 years, you'd be Oh So Wrong.
BUT, we've held on. Even when it was hard. Even when we didn't like each other very much.
Because, here's the thing about storms. . .they eventually end. And, typically when they do, they
leave a beautiful rainbow or some refreshed earth. Now, doesn't mean you won't have to clean up some storm damage, but there will be beauty that comes from the storms.
Hunker down and ride it out, it will pass.
Some storms life gives you, others you create for yourself, either way-hold on and don't let go.
8) Allow the other person to grow and change.
I was asked the other day, if Jerry was different from when we were first married.
My reply, "I sure hope so. I hope we both are."
I would hate to think we are still our 20/23 year old selves. Wouldn't that just be a shame if we were?
You're going to change, you're going to grow. That's ok, actually that is great! What a gift to get a front row seat to someone else's life and growth. Be thankful for it.
9) Do not bad mouth each other to other people.
Seriously. Not to your mom, your best friend. Not on Facebook or any where else. That has never once made a person better.
(I'm not talking about needing help. If you need it-FIND IT. Your pastor, a counselor, therapist . . .Go right now.)
10) Love Jesus.
Love him more than each other. Serve him, follow him.
Loving Jesus first has the miraculous ability to help you love others more, even when they aren't worthy, even when they are unloveable.
We aren't perfect and will never claim to be. Our marriage has been one wild ride, complete with drops and twists and sudden jolts and yes a few times even waiting to get the heck off.
We were so young, naive and in some ways foolish, in fact, I had a 'friend' come up to me at our church at the time and look me straight in the face and say 'You know it will never last don't you?'.
You can imagine how that left me feeling.
But, here we are, two older, wiser (?) people still hand in hand.
Nope, not perfect, there have been many slammed doors and silent nights, but there has been more laughter and happy tears than I ever dreamed possible, and I've seen Jesus more through our wild ride than I ever imagined I would.
In October Hubby and I had a little weekend getaway to Eureka Springs Arkansas.
We had never been there and we enjoyed every minute.
On our last day, we left the town and drove around the surrounding countryside.
I have never been to that part of Arkansas was surprised by the beauty and also the farmland.
Because of the rolling hills we could look down and see the farms all plotted out like a quilt.
Everything was just so neat and tidy and beautiful. I was awed by the loveliness.
We had never been there and we enjoyed every minute.
On our last day, we left the town and drove around the surrounding countryside.
I have never been to that part of Arkansas was surprised by the beauty and also the farmland.
Because of the rolling hills we could look down and see the farms all plotted out like a quilt.
Everything was just so neat and tidy and beautiful. I was awed by the loveliness.
As I was drinking in the country side and thinking how lovely it must be to be an Arkansas farmer,
and maybe I could be one too, Dear Hubby said, "boy it sure must be hard to farm that land!".
Well, I was so surprised at that thought. . .that something in the middle of all that beauty could be
difficult.
I asked, why he thought so.
He began talking about how rocky the soil was and being hillside and the such.
I just sat there beside him thinking two distinct thoughts:
1) this conversation pretty much sums up how we each see the world (one of us the eternal optimist and dreamer the other well . . . his nickname is Eeyore for a reason.)
2) Isn't that how we often tend to judge each others lives. We look down as we're just cruising by,
whether it's on social media or stories swirling around us, and only see the high powered jobs or
amazing trips, the super star kids and perfect marriages.
But, we don't see what it's really like up close. We don't see the hard stuff they've worked through or
the dark valleys they might be going through or the flood that's washing them away piece by piece.
We can get so busy comparing our lives to theirs, even when we don't have an up close view, that we
begin to become unsatisfied and ungrateful for our own lives, jobs, even our own people.
And what damage that can do.
Never mistake your hilltop view of someones life to an up close reality of what it is really like on the
ground.
I've never once met a perfect person, met a perfect couple, heard of a job that wasn't difficult or knew
perfect kids.
Now, I have known people who have walked through the valley's and come out on the other side
changed and marked for life.
But, you and I, we have got to tend to our own soil, in our own little patches of land that we've been
given to tend.
Let's make a promise to ourselves and to our Dear People, not to compare them or the lives we are
living to those we're just cruising by with only a snapshot into their lives.
Let's be a people who are thankful and content, grateful to God for every gift.
Love your people today, even the difficult ones, thank God for all He's given you, even the hard stuff.
It will change lives, beginning with yours.
Grace and Peace,
I don't know what I was expecting, but what I heard shook me to my core.
I tipped the scales at a little over 300 pounds.
I was embarrassed, angry, shamed. All I wanted to do was hide.
She'd never given me a lecture before, but I got one that day.
I either needed to lose weight or pursue weight loss surgery.
Something had to change.
 |
| New Years Eve 2015 There are no full body pictures, because I wouldn't have posed |
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| I was the speaker at an event for single moms in October of 2014 I am at my heaviest here. And completely loved. No one in my life ever made me feel anything other than beautiful. |
But, I was also loved and cared for and often the funniest one in the room -even when I didn't want to be.
God was growing my ministry and sphere of influence, but in the middle of the night when I was still and being completely honest, I was so miserable and embarrassed -for myself and for husband and kids (Who let me be VERY CLEAR have never NOT ONCE said one thing to me about my size).
Well, I left her office and cried.
And cried some more.
Didn't she know I couldn't do it?
I'd been heavy most of my life, I have Thyroid Disease -which makes everything harder, I'm over 40-everyone knows it's to hard for women over 40 to lose weight.
So, I cried some more.
I looked into the surgery. (I should tell you, I've had some scary reactions, life treating reactions to anesthesia.) And came to the conclusion that it wasn't an option.
So, on January 8, 2015 I basically threw my hands in the air and said 'FINE'.
My goal that this point was to prove I COULDN'T do it.
Then the first 25 pounds came off, then 50 . . .
In July, I was back in the Dr office.
This time she's the one who got all teary. She talked about how she often has to tell people the hard things and they get mad at her or don't listen. She thanked me. I cried and thanked her.
Along this journey, I've come face to face with the sin of gluttony in my life.
I confessed this sin to God and my Dear Husband.
A year into this journey, I've learned many lessons. Some of them painful.
Things like, not everyone wants you to change.
People get mad or hurt or offended.
I've been told I talk about my journey, on social media, to much and not enough.
I've been told I'm an inspiration and that I've hurt feelings by tackling my weight.
One year later, I can say I've learned much about myself, my God and my friends and those who
became detractors.
I'm also down 121 pounds and 8 ounces. I'm at a BMI of 31 (with the goal of 25)-in July it was 37- I don 't know what it was when I began because I could never look at those numbers.
When I began I was wearing a 24/26 or 3x/4x.
I'm now wearing a 12/14 on top and 14 on bottom or a Large.
When I was back in the Dr office this week my blood pressure was 118/70 and my pulse was 60.
I no longer experience heart palpitations and have NO knee pain whatsoever.
The Dr didn't tear up this time, she cheered my on to finish this race well.
I have 30 more pounds to to get to my goal.
I will do it.
Not because I've got it all together now or have all the answers but because God has brought me to far now for me to quit.
I can keep up with my kids. I'm physically so much stronger. I'm happier.
I actually feel good.
(and for a girl who loves fashion the shopping has been fun-just keeping it real)
Here I am exactly one year later.
I saved one pair of jeans so I will never forget.
Also, excuse my puppy in the background.
I love my shirt in these pictures. It also makes me chuckle, because in the beginning I did not believe I could. I set out to prove I couldn't and yet, by God's Amazing Grace, here I am, almost half the girl I used to be.
To every person who's prayed for me, loved me, supported me and cheered me on--
Thank you. You'll just never know. I wish I could tell you, but I don't have enough words to tell you how much it has meant to me.
What difference does a day make? A year? Well, it can make all the difference in the world.
Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. Phil 3:13-14 (ESV)
Grace and Peace Along the Journey,
Hello Friends,
If you are stopping by for the first time or the 100th-thank you!
The reality that anyone would want to read what I write is still a mystery to me and one I thank
the Lord for often.
Your faithfulness and encouragement has been a huge blessing to me. Thank you, for going
along on this journey with me.
I pray this Christmas finds you living in the knowledge that Emmanuel, "God with us", has
come. And He has come for you.
Just like He came amidst the darkness, turmoil, poverty and chaos 2000 plus years ago, He is here
right now in the middle of all you have going on.
And He didn't just come, He also brought His peace, joy, hope, love with Him. All you need to
do is receive Him.
I pray that the reality of Jesus surrounds you and me this Christmas season and all through 2016.
From my family to yours, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
If you are stopping by for the first time or the 100th-thank you!
The reality that anyone would want to read what I write is still a mystery to me and one I thank
the Lord for often.
Your faithfulness and encouragement has been a huge blessing to me. Thank you, for going
along on this journey with me.
I pray this Christmas finds you living in the knowledge that Emmanuel, "God with us", has
come. And He has come for you.
Just like He came amidst the darkness, turmoil, poverty and chaos 2000 plus years ago, He is here
right now in the middle of all you have going on.
And He didn't just come, He also brought His peace, joy, hope, love with Him. All you need to
do is receive Him.
I pray that the reality of Jesus surrounds you and me this Christmas season and all through 2016.
From my family to yours, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
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