Fading Flowers

Well, I unexpectedly took a little bloggy break.

It's the end of the school year and with everything that comes with that, life happened and ran me right over me, top that with a computer that had to go visit the 'genius' guys at the Apple store and well you have a bloggy break that lasted much longer than I would have liked.

If I would have found the time to write last week, I would have written about how Mother's Day can be difficult for so many  for all different kinds of reasons.
I would have told you about the year I basically had to run out of the sanctuary and was sobbing by the time I reached the lobby and how the year after that I didn't go to church on Mother's Day.

I would have written about how God heard those prayers and longings of my heart and choose to say "Yes" to them-not just once, but to bless me with 3x more than I could have asked or imagined.
How each one of my children has a unique perspective on life and has taught me so much about life and living and learning to cling tightly to Jesus.

Perhaps you can relate to some of those thoughts and emotions?

But now almost a week as passed since Mother's Day.

And while I have no hard data on this, my very uneducated guess would be that at least 75% of American mothers receive some type of flowers for Mother's Day. Whether it's from the spouse, kids or even passed out church or the restaurant where they and brunch.

Now almost a week later, those flowers are fading.

I don't know about you, but we no matter how our backgrounds may differ, I am guessing we are similar in many ways.  After all the highs and lows of motherhood has a way brining even the most unlikely pairs of people together.

And just like those flowers, perhaps you find the joy in you mommyhood fading as well.

Whether in the throws of sleepless baby nights and spit up down the back of shirt, not even sure when or if you'll get a shower today.
Or a screaming toddler in the middle of Target, while others look on judging you, as if their child would never do such a thing!
The elementary years when they are beginning to find their wings and you're trying to figure out 4th grade math.  Trying to fit in with the other Mom's and feeling like that awkward junior high kid again.
Once everyone is in school, do you go back to work or join the PTA? Or do you still stay a stay at home mom feeling like you have to justify your choices to everyone who asks you 'so what do you do'.
Or maybe you have a high schooler, and the countdown in your mind as begun of when they'll leave the nest and everything you have to teach and tell them between now and when they do.
Of course, you  have to be able to do that between raging hormones, driving lessons, a social life that rarely includes you and closed doors with your teenager hidden behind it.

It can make a girl feel tired and worn and question everything about herself and her calling to motherhood.
And in the end, if you let all those voices and circumstances take up residence in your heard and in your soul, you can become just like those week old flowers, faded and limp and not bringing much joy to anyone anymore.

Let's face it, motherhood truly is the hardest job in the world.
Acknowledge that fact.
But, don't let that consume you.

It is a privilege as well- one not given to all who desire it either.

If God can use a mother to help shape the heart and mind of her children, don't you think one of Satan's best tools is to convince the mother she's doing it all wrong, her job doesn't really matter and she's really making no difference at all.

As we look at our piles of laundry this week, meals to be made, homework to push though, lessons to be practiced, car pools to be driven, bathrooms that need cleaning, instead of beating ourselves up that we're not doing it right or we're not doing enough or that no one in our families really understands all we do for them-what if we embraced those challenges?

What if we understood we were doing those things not just for our children and husbands but for God himself?

What if we let go of the unobtainable goal of perfection that haunts so many of us and just accepted our flaws and the flaws of our children?

What if it was ok to be a mom who didn't have it all together all the time.

What if we spent time with the one and only perfect parent pouring out our hearts dreams and desires for our children, and then instead of picking them all back up and trying to carry them around ourselves, we left them there. Right there at the feet of Jesus.

I don't think we would be so faded anymore.
Life may not be any simpler or easier, but the burden wouldn't be ours to carry.

One of the hardest things, I think, for a mother is to learn to let things go.

What if that is what God is calling us to do?
To trust Him enough with the little souls He has given us to stop holding on so tightly we become no good to them or ourselves.
To trust Him enough, that He truly did equip us with everything we need to parent these children of ours.
Through slammed doors, hormonal outbursts, hurt feelings and all.

What if when we could summon enough courage to do all those things, we found that with Him we truly were enough.

I think we would shine instead of fade.
Face to the sun, ready to face the next challenge.


Blessings to you all from the front lines of Mommyhood,