Waiting

My lesson this week didn't come from the aisle of the grocery store, it come from the waiting room of a hospital.

My family has spent quite a bit of time in waiting rooms.

I've got three kiddos with asthma and some other significant things that makes waiting a part of our lives.

This past week our 6 year old had his tonsils removed, so back to the waiting room again.

We've been in various waiting rooms for small things and very large things.

(Please, don't miss understand, God has blessed us with our kids and we KNOW their problems are minor compared with some!)

But, while we were waiting YET again for the doctors to come out and tell everything is fine (there is no minor surgery when it's your child-can I get an Amen??) I began looking around and observing.

There are different kinds of 'waiters'. There are those who stare numbly at whatever happens to be on the waiting room TV, there are the readers, the nappers, the chatters, the pacers and the snackers. And yes, at one time or another, for one child or another, I've fallen into all of those categories.

Waiting rooms are really all about the same. Dull magazines, tv in the corner, uncomfortable chairs, coffee maker and people who are anxious, trying to appear calm and in control.

I've felt the range of emotions from, nervous and anxious to calm and at peace. Which got me to thinking what changes about waiting in the waiting room?

The room doesn't change, my emotions about the person I love who's being seen doesn't change. What changes. . God tells us and I believe He never changes, so what is it?

I soon realized, it's me. I change. I forget, or worse yet, don't bother to give my emotions and controlling ways over to Him.

I've felt the presence of the Lord so tangible in the midst of a waiting room, like I've never felt him before and I felt He was so far away at other times.

But, He is there waiting.

Waiting on me to realize He loves my precious children more than I ever could.

He is waiting on me to realize He and He ALONE is in control, my worry will change nothing.

He is waiting on me, to come to Him and tell my troubles to Him and then stand back and watch Him do His thing. And, OH! How I have seen Him do HIS thing! The mighty saving power that only He can produce!

It is so comforting to know that how I feel may change, but He never does.

And while I'm am waiting, He is there right beside me, whether I acknowledge Him or not. But, Oh the peace that comes when I do choose to Believe!

Thank You, Lord for waiting on me!

How Far Can I Go?

We are blessed to have our kiddos school in our backyard, complete with soccer field. Endless hours of entertainment!

Our boys often go over and play together, but last night Big Brother had homework and Little Brother was desperately wanting to go over to the soccer field. The Hubs and I were moving furniture around, cleaning up the kitchen and helping with homework so we very reluctantly said he go over by himself. (Little Brother can often find trouble in the most unlikely of places!)

We told him he had to stay only at the goal closest to our yard and could go no where else.

So, off he went soccer ball in tow, when he ran back and said 'Mom, how far can I go?'

I restated the previous answer, 'You MUST stay by the goal closest to the yard.' To which he replied, 'I know I can't all the way to the other end of the field but how far CAN I go?'

Realizing what he meant, I showed him a water cooler that was just shy of mid field and told him that was his boundary. All that cleared up and off he went.

I turned to the Hubs and said,' That is my next blog!!'

Really isn't that EXACTLY what we do with God? He has given us the privilege of playing and showed exactly where we could go, but we want to know just how far we can push the limits and still not be in the wrong. Oh we don't want to go all the way down to the other goal, but we want to get just far enough away from the house that we feel like we're doing things all by ourselves.

About 20 minutes later Little Brother came running into the house all out of breath saying that one of his friends had come up to the school and could I come and play too.
( An invite, no Momma can usually resist.) As we were walking back, he also said how tired he was from needing to run so far to get back to the house. I pointed out, he'd also lost some good playing time by needing to run farther to get to me.

Help Lord, not to get to far from Your house. I know you'll still be able to hear me and help when I'm far away, but the blessings will be so much greater when You don't need to reach so far to answer me. Help me stay in Your shadow so I am refreshed and ready to enjoy our time together instead of tired and worn out from running back to you.

What I Wish President Obama Would Have Said

I have tried very hard to keep politics off the blog.

Not because I don't have opinions, those who know me KNOW I have me some opinions-STRONG ONES, but because that's not really what this blog is about.

But, with all the speech hoopla I'm having a hard time biting my tongue and finally just gave up.

So, here is my two cents-for what they are worth. . perhaps not even two cents.

**For the record, it didn't bother me that the President wanted to speak to America's children, but here is what I wish he would've said.

You are important. You are special. No matter your size, color, gender or abilities. I'm sorry my position on any abortion at anytime, doesn't convey that.

Don't do drugs. I shouldn't have done them and I'm sorry that I've glamorized the use of them.

America is a blessed nation. Freedom is what all men and women long for. Although not perfect, by far the greatest system the world has known.

I'm sorry that I haven't conveyed that message, but instead I've gone to foreign countries and bemoaned this great countries flaws, even though in most others countries I wouldn't have stood a chance at becoming their leader. And I have ignored the thousands of lives that have been liberated because men and women have chosen to fight for liberty and our country. America, although not perfect, doesn't need to be wholly changed.

Surround yourselves with people of integrity. Listen to what they say. If they are saying reproachable, vile things, be a person of conviction and stand apart from them.

Work hard, study hard, know that others can't always bail you out.

I know it doesn't seem like that's true, but the world would be a much better place if all people, from CEO's to the average Joe lived that way, not expecting others to pay their way or clean up their messes.

Government can't save you and I'm not the Messiah and I shouldn't have joked about that or let others say that on my behalf.

Help your fellow man, be kind and compassionate. Develop new technologies and medicines, and business. Don't be afraid of success-We NEED people like that to help those who can't-not won't- help themselves.

Thank you and God Bless America.

When God's People Pray

This past week our family was hit with a tragedy.

Huge, out of no where, tragedy. The kind that makes the clock stop and changes everything.

Car wreck- death, brain injuries. Stunning, shocking, knee buckling tragedy.

I got the phone call from my Daddy and right after he told me the news, he said 'Can you call church, so they can get this on the prayer chain?' Of course, the answer was YES! Our poor church secretary had to listen to me try and talk through my tears. Then I put the word out on facebook that our family needed prayer, and my Mother and husband asked fellow believers at their offices.

Prayer, we need, Prayer. Lives hung in the balance. We needed to cry out before Our Father.

As the hours passed and calls came that folks were praying, I was struck by this grand vision of God's people all uniting in prayer.

So, many times we are fractured into our groups: The Frozen Chosen, The Holy Rollers, Catholic, Protestant, Evangelical. But, for these few hours and days, those petty (for the most part) differences were put aside and we united in a cause under the banner of our Saviour, Jesus Christ.

I wonder if that makes God rejoice or saddens Him. Rejoice, that His children are uniting together and sadden because it takes a tragedy for that to happen. As believers, we segregate ourselves over things that mean so little.

Oh, I know there are profound differences that need to be talked about and I hold my beliefs in high regard. But, I'm not talking about those. I'm talking about things like who wears what to church, who sings what type of song, who lets a woman pray from the pulpit, which translation of the Bible we use.

But, this week, through our tragedy, we were able to see the Family of God come together in ways that must be a glimpse of what heaven will be like.

I was reminded of this old gospel song we used to sing:

I'm so glad I'm a part of the Family of God,
I've been washed in the fountain, cleansed by His Blood!
Joint heirs with Jesus as we travel this sod,
For I'm part of the family,
The Family of God

You will notice we say "brother and sister" 'round here,
It's because we're a family and these are so near;
When one has a heartache, we all share the tears,
And rejoice in each victory in this family so dear.

Glimpses into heaven are a beautiful thing even through of tears of tragedy.

And I can give an account that indeed God does hear the prayers of His children and He so graciously answers them!

Back When I Knew Everything

The backpacks are full, the pencils are sharpened, the notebooks are still neat and tidy.

The smell of fresh boxes of crayons is in the air. OH, how I love the beginning of the school year!

So much possibility and potential! Whatever, happened last year is gone and you get to start over. Every year I was in school, I made the Aug. vow that this would be the year I got all A's.

By, Sept.1 that dream was usually gone.

Today, I had the fun of watching one of my boys on the playground. I love to do that when they don't know I'm there!

I remember when I first found out we were having a boy and the day he was born. All the dreams we had for him. And there were LOTS of them. Because, that was back when I knew everything.

Seems like you know so much about kids and parenting before God actually entrusts you with the little people.

And then reality hits.

My big boy has been through much in his short life. Some major, some with the potential of being major and then God steps in and shows once again that He and He alone is in charge.

Big boy is a gifted kid; smart, fun, extremely deep thinker, loves technology, loves to laugh, LOVES Jesus.

But, as I was secretly watching him, I found my mind wondering, wishing his road didn't have to be so hard. Wishing he was a bit different in some areas, just so his life would be a bit easier.

Big boy is the kid who will be president of the Debate and Math club. I, who struggled in school (I was all about the fun part of school-learning was a distant second for me-shocking I know!) sometimes doesn't know what to do with that or how to relate. So, sometimes I wish things , ok he was different. He is ridiculously smart and sometimes that makes life harder not easier.

But, as I walked home a thought struck me like a lighting bolt. Never once, has the Lord tried to change who I am at the core. Yes, there are things-lots of things-He has changed, is trying to change. Sinful things, but not who I am. That's who he created in His image. This crazy, flighty, chubby girl. He loves and adores just the way she is.

The thought made me laugh and cry at the same time.

My boy, my beautiful boy, who I love so dearly, Lord, let me let him be the kid you created him to be, help me learn to not just love, but appreciate, the things that make him uniquely him, just like you do in me!

Thank you, Jesus for being the ultimate loving parent and for loving me even when I thought I knew everything.

Sometimes I can't hear the siriens

We began a little family thing a long time ago, that when we heard a police siren or firetruck we would stop and pray. Pray for safety of the officers, safety for who they were going to help and a safe trip to get where they needed to go. It takes all of about 30 seconds.

But, I must confess sometimes I don't hear the sirens. Oh, I can literally hear them, it's just my brain is so wrapped up in what I have going on, what needs to be done next that- I don't HEAR them.

Today was one of those days. We were on a little picnic after school today when baby girl came RUNNING full speed over to me saying Stop and pray Mama, Stop and pray!! Her little hands were already folded before she had even stopped running. I had must confess, I had heard them as background noise and had felt no sense of urgency to pray until that face came running at me.

Thirty seconds and I couldn't be bothered. Well, it's not even bothered so much as just didn't even think of it. Wrapped up in my own selfish thoughts and lists of things to do-I couldn't hear the sirens. My three year old baby girl, however jumped off her little riding toy and ran to me thinking of others before her own desires or wants.

I want to be like that, because there are sirens that go off around me all the time. A friend who needs encouraged, a marriage in trouble, kids just looking for someone to talk to-to notice they are there. But, like today, sometimes I get so caught up in my needs, wants I can't hear the sirens.

Some days when I hear them it calls for prayer but sometimes when I hear them they call for prayer and ACTION! How dangerous for us all if we don't hear them( or worse yet, pretend like we don't hear them).

I had a little argument with God. . guess who won

This has been a crazy week! Our boys were gone for a get- a -way with the grandparents, the hubby was home for a long weekend-needless to say the TO DO list was a long one! Complete with garage sale. I had no time for dilly dallyng and certainly no time for arguments. Especially, with God.

It all began Wednesday evening at choir practice when our Worship Pastor asked me to participate in a video tape series of short segments for an some upcoming sermons our Pastor is doing.

Let me say right up front, that I KNOW I'm irrational-let's just get that out of the way. Moving on to the unique insight that is the inner workings of my brain, I don't mind being up in front of people for teaching Bible study or singing on the praise team. In my mind, I can't really be seen-we're focusing on either study or worshiping. This case would be different. I DO NOT enjoy having my picture taken at ALL! So, while our Worship Pastor was asking me, in my mind I was saying-I don't think so, that is way worse than a picture and there certainly isn't time to lose 50 lbs. before Sunday. But, at the same time I was thinking those thoughts, I could hear the Holy Spirit (no not audibly) saying, " Yes, you are going to do it". Ok, Ok. Yes, I'll do it.

Thursday I began thinking about what I would like to say and when in all the craziness shaping up in our weekend, I could get my hair cut and colored. Let's just say, there might be a few, gulp, gray hairs poking through. So, I had some time carved out for Friday night.

When God said NO. Can you believe it? No, just like that! He's never really spoken to me about my hair before ( although, goodness knows I would like for Him too!) so why, WHY was He starting now??? Now, is when I needed to look as good as possible. Since I didn't have time to lose the 50 lbs, having good hair was supposed to distract from that!!

I would like to say, that I said "Of course, Lord! Have your way, I'll do whatever you want me to do!" Instead the conversation went something like--WHAT? I can't do WHAT? Why! WHY! WHY! You've never cared before, why would you care now???

It wasn't pretty folks, I'll admit, I threw a fit! So much so, my hubby asked what was wrong ( he was baring the brunt of the attitude problem.) Of course, I said the ever popular, 'Nothing'! I mean who is admitting that they are arguing with God about their hair???

Well, Saturday night, when I'd stopped whining enough to listen, God told me why He'd chosen this road for me this week.

And, are you ready for this?? Because, it's not about me! (Say What?!?) My testimony, the things He asks me to do for His name sake, are for Him and Him alone. My vanity, and seriously that is ALL this week was about, was getting in the way of the mission- telling others about Jesus being the Lord of my life.

I pray the next time He asks me to something, I can get out of the way faster, not put up a fuss and just say, Yes, Lord!

And for the record, I don't think God is against highlights-PTL!

I'll be getting some next week, and it's Ok, I have permission.